DEAR OOSUN

Chapter 14

It left a mark.

Every word,

Every moment,

Every sigh and

Every half smile.

It left a mark.

NIKI'S POV

It's been few weeks after that incident. But I still remember every second of that moment.

It was the most beautiful and magical day for me. I saw the real him. Without any mask. Without using any façade. With his beautiful scars. With his stories.

I was shocked when I first saw the tattoo. I thought my eyes were playing tricks with me but then I saw the scars on his arms. It's not one or two but there were many of them. All in different stages of healing.

Some cuts are about to fade away but some looked new. There is redness and swelling present in some cuts. They all looked like they are made on different period of his life.

"Who did this to you?" I asked holding his arms firmly in my grip.

But he was saying nothing. He kept his head down and I can see the sadness written all over his face.

"I did it to myself. I did it when I was in bad terms with life."

"Cutting was my coping mechanism, an outlet for my unbearable emotional pain." He said after a long silence.

He was neither looking at me nor at the scars. He looked stiff and uncomfortable. He kept pulling his sleeves to cover his scars.

"You must have hard time all alone" I said trying not to choke on my tears.

"A little. " He said and I didn't miss the melancholic smile on his face.

I felt heartbroken when I saw his scars.

I felt emotional when I heard his calm voice.

I felt anguished when I saw him holding his tears.

I felt like protecting him from all the evils of the world.

I felt like taking revenge on those people who has caused unbearable pain to him that he had to take such measures to protect himself.

When I saw him in that state I felt like my world is crumbling around me.

I don't tear up easily. I can hold my emotions. I can hide them under my sleeves well. Neither my family, nor the fans, members have seen me crying. I was always the strong guy. The guy who doesn't shed tears even when all the people were crying in a venue. The only member who don't have records of crying on a stage.

My name always resonates with word like strong, brave and cool.

But infront of him, I always end up showing a different version of myself which I don't know exist before him.

I am that sensitive boy who feels everything very deeply, the one who cries easily.

That night I realized that what I feel for him was not just a mere attraction. It was neither attachments nor infatuation.

I realized that my feelings for him were love. I don't know from when and how did it begin. But it was always there.

The feeling to show him only the beautiful things of life. The feeling to fill his days with happiness. The feeling to spent every hour together.

I knew I loved him when I purchased the art which made him cry without even knowing whether I will meet him again and when I requested for his favorite cake on my birthday, when I saved last piece of tteokbokki for him and when my mother send me clips of her doing big open surgeries the only person I shared my awe was with him and when I finally managed to record a song without a second take, the only face I looked for was his.