DEAR OOSUN

Chapter 15

I can go and find words of comfort from everyone

but the only one who can calm my storm,

tame my waves

and shelter my heart

is you.....

SUNOO'S POV

The strongest thing I am learning this year is to forgive myself. For sabotaging myself. For listening to my overthinking head. For making my grandma sad. For being a menace to our family. For losing the spark to do what I was so passionate about and for dreaming big.

If I can't do it for myself, I will do it for them.

I tried my best to push them as far as I can, for my defenses I built my walls higher to fend them off. But they stood still. They were always there.

I was scared thinking that they will tear my walls down. They were my defenses. It was what kept me safe.

"Come outside, Let's have rameyeon. We have mint chocolate too." Jay said aloud by opening my door slightly.

"No, I don't like having night snacks." I replied without looking at him.

Jay went back without saying anything.

I went back to writing my journal and I saw my sister sitting on the edge of my bed with a foul expression on her face. I kept on writing without giving her any attention.

But she kept tapping her foot on the floor to get my attention. So, I looked at her direction.

"They are good people. Let them in. Don't keep chasing them away." She said looking at my hands.

"You don't even know them." I said while doodling on the top of my journal.

"I know them as much as you know them and I know that you liked them a lot. You want to spend quality time with them, but you are scared."

"If you keep being cold to them, you will regret one day. You know that, they makes you happy. Now it's your time to repay their kindness back." She said looking intently at my doodling.

"And how do I do that?" I asked and I regret immediately as soon as I saw her facial expression.

"Just be there for them. Be a good listener to those who wants to vent, Give them your opinion if they seek and give them your time." She said firmly.

Like always I listened to her. I tried my best to be there for them. I did what they always want me to do with them. I was there to watch movies with them together, I was there for the late night snacks.

I went to amusement park with Yang as he kept asking for my company. I had blast that day. I tried riding all the rides and even forced Yang to ride some of hard ones.

I saw Hee sitting on the kitchen table all by himself doing something on his phone.

"Do you want to eat Rameyeon?" I asked Hee and he looks surprised and he kept looking at his back.

"Are you talking to me, you want rameyeon?" He asked making his eyes big.

"If you want, I can make one for you too." I said looking at his questioning look.

"How can I say no to such a rare invitation." Hee said looking intently at me.

I cooked his favorite spicy rameyeon and we ate together in comfortable silence, making small talks in between.

That night I saw Jake playing games all by himself in T.V room. I sat beside him and watched him play for an hour. He kept facing problems in using items and I offered my suggestions to him.