DEAR OOSUN

Chapter 21 ( Last Chapter )

I wishful thinking I

in the midst of a crowd

my eyes finds it's way to you.

i stand not too close nor too far--

just enough to see a glimpse of you.

SUNOO'S POV

It's 2am and I am sitting on the edge of my study table dangling my feet like a child as I sip on a glass of black coffee. I spend my night alone, watching rain and listening to it's sound when it touches the ground. I like the sound of rain as it calms me down.

I feel the moon glaring at me with disappointment for choices I have made out of selfishness, but I ignore this judgement the moon has placed on my shoulders because stubbornness defines me.

I am wide awake at 2:30 am and my glass is three sips way from being empty. I glance at the calendar hanging above my table that says that the month is December. My heart started pounding like a mad man that wants to get out of it's prison. I missed him all these days and nights I have spent here. But tonight it's making my chest hurt like he is the half of the air it takes to let my soul breathe.

I miss him hundred times more than I miss everything. I miss him in the broad daylight, on the most ordinary days, during dinners, while I am with my neighbors, on every train ride, at temples, in the midst of bustling cities.

But I can't be selfish because it's my fault that we ended up in a mess. I was the one who ruined him.

It was me who appear infront of him and kept on knocking on his door. It was me who gave him rainy and cloudy days. It was me who ruined his peace.

So I can't go infront of him and watching him from afar won't quench my thirst. I believe it will make me more thirstier. So I decided to never appear infront of him.

I heard tiny sounds in my sleep but I continued sleeping ignoring all the noises but the noise got louder and I realized that someone is knocking on my door. I went to open the door without bothering to manage my unkempt appearance.

To my surprise it was manager Sejin. He greeted me with a wide smile and hugged me tight.

"Hello, how are you doing?" Manager Sejin said while hugging me and I heard the deep concern in his voice.

"Better." I said in a quiet voice.

"Here, these are for you." He said giving me bags of groceries, fruits and essentials.

"These is too much for a person." I said while keeping them on the kitchen table.

"Share them with your new friends. Grandmothers loves city's goods and sweets." He said chuckling a little at his own words.

There was a deafening silence in the kitchen after that little conversation.

"How is everyone doing? " I said while making coffee for both of us.

"He is as usual. Not sleeping, skipping meals and showing his grudges at the world. Everyone working with him is scared of him now. He even fights with people older than him. Small things irritates him and he blows off his steam easily infront of people. He is scared of no one now.

"He thinks that there is a hand of our company in your disappearance. So he hated everyone working there. " Manager Sejin said focusing all on NiKi's circumstances. Whenever I asked anything about member's conditions, all does talks about is NIKI.

It's like he is taking his little revenge with me. Niki is making his job hard and he comes here everytime like a kid with a book of complaints about NiKi to me and he blows off his steam here in my kitchen.