Sinfully Angelic

Chapter 04

04 : manipulation

A loud thud and the sound of broken glass echoed across the four corners of the living room as I hit my body hard on a desk. A ceramic vase fell. I winced and couldn't help but almost cursed—almost, out loud. Ang sakit!

"You never learn don't you, Emerald?" Hinila niya ang gulo-gulong buhok ko sa likod pababa kaya napilitang napaangat ang aking mukha paharap sa kaniya. Hindi ko na rin alam kung saan na napunta ang pantali ko. "Ang simple lang ng utos ko, hindi mo pa magawa nang maayos!" She was so furious that her eyeballs were about to pop out of their sockets.

Hindi ako sumagot. I already knew this would happen. I asked for this when I chose my friends over the peace I'd yearned for at home. There was no peace in this hell, anyway. And I was just reminded by my father this morning that I was in no place to react no matter what would happen.

Asan ba siya ngayon? Oh, baka lumuwas na ulit papuntang Springdale para sa trabaho. Gano'n naman lagi, wala namang bago.

"Hindi ako nabubuhay nang walang yosi, ilang beses ko bang sasabihin 'yon sa 'yo?" nanggagalaiting sigaw niya sa tapat ng aking mukha. Nanuot sa aking ilong ang amoy ng mabahong hininga niya, tila iyon pinaghalong amoy ng sigarilyo at nalantang halaman.

It was the scent that suffocated me while living in this house. With all these years of enduring, it never came off my mind wondering why I never got nose blindness yet and had to continue suffering exhaustively.

"Hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko sa 'yong bata ka! Bwisit ka sa buhay ko!"

Impit ang boses ay mariing napapikit ako nang muling hilain niya nang mahigpit ang aking buhok at kinaladkad ako papalapit sa nabasag na plorera. She grabbed a bigger shard and pointed the sharp end straight at my left eye.

I held my breath and my heart pummelled fast against my chest upon seeing it shimmer made by the fluorescent light. Humapdi ang aking batok, siguro ay nasugatan na naman ng kaniyang mahahabang mga kuko. Ang kaniyang palad ay muling lumapat sa pisnge ko. The pain numbed my face and the sound of her slap rung against my ear, but I didn't budge. I couldn't dare. One wrong move and it would go worse.

Please, not my face, I prayed.

"Bakit ka pa ba kasi nabuhay, bwisit! Dagdag ka lang sa mga problema ko!" Lumapat muli ang likod ng kamay niyang may hawak na bubog sa kabila kong pisngi.

I tightly shut my eyes, hoping they wouldn't bruise or go red from all her slapping. But above all, I kept on praying for the shard not to slip from her palm and accidentally cut my skin.

Being beaten to the point of bruising and wounding became a typical part of my lifestyle. I didn't care. Beneath my skin, my flesh, and my bones, I'd feel the gradual sting inflicted on me. Noong una ay hindi ko alam kung paano manhirin ang sarili gaya nang utos ng aking ama. Sa paglipas ng panahon, 'di kalaunan ay tanging ang pagiging masanay lamang ang tuluyang nakapagmanhid sa akin.

Constantly feeling the pain made me get used to it. The soreness was already registered in my system. By then, I'd realized that maybe I'd lived up with the pain that it felt normal on my body. When I couldn't anymore distinguish the difference between people's touches against my skin.

Kaya lang naman sobrang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko sa kaba ay dahil natatakot akong magalosan ang mukha ko. It was the hardest part to cover. I was afraid that others would start to question it and I wouldn't have any excuse.

The last time I had a black eye, I was absent for weeks. I never left home until it was close to being healed. And she was good at making up excuses for me. And everyone believed I really caught Dengue during that time.