Sinfully Angelic

Chapter 10

10 : fifteen minutes doom

I woke up feeling so restless. Hindi ko alam kung ilang tulog lang ang nakuha ko o kung nakatulog ba talaga ako.

Natania had almost beaten me to death if it wasn't for my father. I was miraculously saved by my father's call after she would almost burn my hair. I didn't know what they talked about but they spoke on the phone for so long that she had to let me go.

I didn't know what to think, whether to be grateful that I was spared or to expect the worse because someone finally discovered my deepest, darkest secret. My mind was full of thoughts the entire night. I couldn't even cry because of what happened.

I'm doomed! That was an understatement of how I would describe my situation. It was the end of the world for me.

Nakita ako ni Rien! The thing I had been hiding deep within me, the stain that I had always tried to remove and leave at home somehow continued to stick to me. And now, someone else had an idea for that secret.

At sa lahat ng taong makakakita ay si Rien pa talaga. Someone eccentric enough to see my wretched, pitiful self despite all the smiles I'd been forcing out of me just to conceal it. He, who I should be avoiding the most.

Nakita na niya nga ang totoong pagkatao ko, nadiskubre niya pa ang totoong buhay ko.

I couldn't worry about my new bruise, the pain in my scalp, or how much hair I lost last night because of Natania. What was making me so anxious was Rien knowing all of my being.

Natatakot ako. Natatakot ako na baka pagdating ko sa school ay alam na ng lahat. Baka pagkamuhian ako at wala ng matitira sa 'kin.

Despite everything, I must have numbed myself enough that I couldn't even cry in this worst situation of my life, despite the tension of what worse might have awaited me.

In this very small town, I knew how news and gossips would spread like lightning, and that was why Dad decided to install soundproof walls, so no information about us would get out of our homes.

Paano kapag alam na ng lahat? What face would I show everyone? They would despise me, lalo na sila Cair. I would lose everyone—everything.

What kind of life will I live now?

My mind was in constant battle again. It was pulsating in pain that I just wanted to crack it open. I didn't want to leave my bed but had to. I had to fight myself internally before I finally convinced myself to get up.

Ayoko sanang lumabas at magpakita sa lahat pero alam kong kailangan kong bumangon. I needed to go to work early. I couldn't slack off dahil nagpa-advance pay na ako kina Karla. Nakakahiya 'yon.

I did my routine of counting down from ten, channeling up the character I had created, and putting on my mask before leaving the house.

But it did not help. Nothing helped me calm down anymore. Hiniling ko na lang na sana'y masagasaan ako at ma-coma sa ospital o kaya'y matuluyan na lang.

It may have sounded overacting or too much but it was what I felt deep within. Hope was almost taken out of me. I was like a walking time bomb that might just explode any time when triggered.

Natania was still dead asleep when I left so I was relieved I didn't get to see her off.

Everyone I knew greeted me friendlily like usual and smiled at me. Nothing changed. It was surprising, but it also kind of relieved the nervous beating of my heart and pushed me to keep going.

But that forced stillness didn't last long.

"Good morning, Emi!" bati ni Karla pagkapasok ko sa Kofia.