28 : when the heart is sad
Nag-ayang mag-celebrate si Yvan. He wanted to celebrate how midterms were finally over and how we received positive results—except he didn't but he still wanted to celebrate it anyway.
Ayaw ko sanang sumama dahil wala ako sa mood. I felt exhausted all over. Wala akong gana. Pero siyempre hindi ko iyon ipinahalata sa kanila dahil ayokong mandamay at sirain din ang mood nila.
Isang unplanned announcement ang tinext ni Dane na magsasara sila for the afternoon until tomorrow evening. Magfa-family outing daw sila at next week na ang balik nito sa Australia.
It became good news to Rien and Yvan so I could join them. I had no excuse not to go so I let them drag me along anyway. Pumunta kami sa isang barbeque house. Libre ni Yvan.
Lumilipad ang usok at amoy ng mga inihaw sa paligid. Kahit gaano pa kasarap ang pagkain sa aming harapan ay kaunti lamang ang kinain ko. Mabagal ko pa itong naubos.
"I don't even know how that news went wild around the campus," naiiling na sabi ni Yv habang sinasawsaw sa chilli sauce ang barbequeng baboy sa isang stick.
"It's true though. Our blockmate has a big crush on you." Isang mapang-asar na ngisi ang sumilay sa labi ni Rien.
Pabirong nag-akmang nasusuka ito. "Bleurgh! Well, I don't like her. Especially because she's not nice to our Emi!"
Tahimik na nakikinig at pinapanood ko lamang silang dalawa lalo na nang sabay nila akong tinignan. I gave them a tight-lipped smile and shrugged.
"Our?" ulit ni Rien.
"Yeah?" nakaangat ang kilay na takang sagot ng kaibigan. "She's our bro!"
"Bro," halos sabay na bigkas namin ni Rien at kapagkuwa'y napailing.
Napasarap pa ang kwentuhan at asaran kaya nag-order na rin ng isang bote ng Soju si Yvan. I didn't drink. I never liked alcohol. It only reminded me of my father. So I stayed with my Coke.
Nag-excuse akong mag-CR sa kalagitnaan ng pag-iinom nila. I could sense Rien glancing at me time to time, eyes filled curiosity. Baka nag-alala na naman at bakit ganito ako umaakto. He could always read me. Or perhaps he wanted to know how the talk with my father went.
I didn't want to say anything about it so I decided to stay away from his sight for a bit. I didn't want him to worry because eventually, I knew I'd be fine. I would be.
I hoped so...
Hindi talaga ako nagpunta sa banyo. I went outside for some fresh air. Away from the noise, the smoke, and the smell of the alcohol that made me nauseous.
The evening was cold. March was dark and cold at night, but the breeze felt good within my sweater. Comforting yet sad.
Or I don't know. Sadness became comfortable for me. It once made me feel something. You may call me weird but somehow, the heaviness in my chest made me think that I was still human. Pero ngayon, wala na akong nararamdaman. Parang pagod na lang ako.
"I should have schtopped him. I schouldn't have lret him go."
Napatigil ako sa pagsesenti nang makarinig ng isang boses galing sa madilim na parte ng parking lot. She was hiccuping between her whines.
"Dammit! Dammit! Now I'm all alone!" the voice cried, as I noticed a shadowed figure pulling up the grasses and weeds from its roots.
Siguro dahil sa instincts ay wala sa sariling nilapitan ko ito. Someone drunk perhaps?
BINABASA MO ANG
Sinfully Angelic
Teen FictionBehind the sweet smile of an Emerald 'Emi' Alconera lies a dark secret she ought to carry through her grave. When she thought she has perfected the innocent girl she has been building, a new transfer city guy named Adrien Farrell witnesses the dread...
