Persona 5 reader insert -- Akira x reader

Chapter 34

April 19, Tuesday

I don't even know where to begin. Everything feels like it's falling apart. Shiho jumped, and I feel like it was all my fault. I haven't been to school since that day, mostly because of my fever. Sojiro has been taking care of me, but I can't help feeling like a burden. I haven't even been able to face Akira since that day either, despite living in the same room. He brought home Morgana a few days ago, but every time they come home, I either am asleep or am pretending due to the shame. I know I twisted the story, and now everything is a mess. I can't believe I let this stupid sickness take me out and not help Shiho. If I didn't stop to look at the cherry blossoms in the courtyard and instead remembered that Shiho was to jump that day, I could have stopped her.

It's all because of Kamoshida. I wanted to take him down but instead decided to leave it to the phantom thieves to handle since that was how the original went. They are the main characters and yet I just had to go and try to be a hero.

Akira got defeated after awakening, and Mona almost died because of me. And now Ann has lost her best friend just like in the original. It's all my fault. Why did I have to be brought into this world? I was perfectly happy with my boring life, my friends, and my family. I never wanted to put the characters I loved interacting with on death row.

I can't help but think that I'm just a walking death flag. What can I even do now? I feel so helpless. I've pretty much put the difficulty to merciless when it was supposed to be easy. All because I wanted to be selfish and go home. My tears won't stop falling, and I can't shake off this feeling of despair. I wish I could go back to before all of this happened, but that damned god dropped me here.

I just wanted to help Shiho. But now, all I can do is lie here and endlessly think about what-ifs. I know I don't have any right to be resting here when Shiho's life is hanging by mere threads, but I'm too scared that I'll mess something up again. In the end, I still need to get home.

No matter what.

"Hey kid, you alright up there?" Sojiro's call from downstairs immediately grabs me out of my thoughts. "Y-yeah. I'm alright." I hurry to wipe the tears off my face and hit my chest to make the tightness go away. "What's that sound? Are you hitting something?" Sojiro's voice now sounded closer. Tears are still running down my face, and hitting did nothing but get his attention. Crap!

What do I do?

I pull my phone out of my pocket and grab some tissues off the side of my bed. Sojiro comes up the stairs and a look of surprise is drawn all over. "W-What's going on!? Is something hurting? Do you need to go to the doctor?" He darts to my bedside, trying to see what he could do. "Ah, no I'm fine. I was just on my phone and saw a sad cat video. It remembered me of the cat I used to own back home. Don't worry about me." Sojiro's eyes scan my face, then my hands, and then my room.

"Are you sure that's all?" Sojiro crouches down to eye level with me. I don't know why, but just that simple gesture almost makes my tears burst out of my sockets. "Sorry to worry you. I'm perfectly fine. I'm sure I can go to school tomorrow too." I gather all my willpower to smile and hold it. "Alright then. Tell me if you need anything. I'll be downstairs." Sojiro turns to head down but stops before the stairs. "Listen, Whatever is happening at school-"

"I'll be good. I won't make a sound at school." I finish his sentence. Sojiro stands there, not saying anything, and yet I can feel an intense sense of brooding coming off of him. Did I get it wrong? "Sojiro?" His form flinches, and without an explanation, he heads back downstairs.

April 20th, Wednesday

When I woke up this morning, my fever had vanished. While the headaches are still here, nothing Tylenol can't fix though. I can finally go to school.