Blood Dance (Chanjin/Hyunchan)

Chapter 7: Crave

(Credits to the rightful owners.)

Wordcount: 5.7k

Chan P.O.V

The difference between existing and living is seemingly null. Yet in actuality that difference is everything.

Nine decades of existence flew by like a span of nine seconds. And this never upset me. It didn't bring joy to me either. It didn't affect me at all. Well, other than the sinking feeling of a coming time when I would stop knowing the one thing that made my hollow, insignificant existence...bearable- my family.

My family had each other. Without me life wouldn't be unbearable for them. Or so I hoped and tried to make sure by straying my existences as far away as possible from their lives.

Sustainance is vital for existence as well as for living. Though, for the former sustainability requires only little. That is hunting every time my skin gets too pale. That's about it.

However, recently my sustainance has become more demanding. I crave certain things more than I ever could for a prey's blood.

Smiles. I crave them on the faces of two people who were till a few months back only strangers to me. I crave to have breakfast along with them. I crave to spend time with them. I crave everything that makes me feel alive.

Hyunjin.

I'm beginning to crave for his voice, his gaze, his care. How he breaths in gratitude when somebody does the slightest bit of something nice for him. How his eyes sparkle when he watches dance shows on the television. How focused he gets when he is sketching something marvelous with such ease in the garden. How his giggles harmonize with his heartbeats when he feels comfortable around my family. How his shoulders relax when the morning breeze is cosy. How his hair plays with the wind so gracefully as he brushes a strand behind his ear. How he looks freer since he keeps his hair open nowadays compared to earlier when it would mostly be tied up. How he called a part of my existence that I can't quite face, beautiful. How he simply and beautifully is Hyunjin.

I am beginning to crave for him.

I shouldn't. It would be unfair to him.
How can...how dare I care for his time when I can only offer only a speck of mine?

It's odd. I do not quite know what to do with these feelings. Feelings which aren't meant for cold blooded monsters like me.

He makes me feel scared. Scared of him being hurt. He makes me want to protect him. And he makes me inexplicably grateful, for because of him, I met my heartbeat (metaphorically of course). Ironic, I know.

But it's true. For I feel like my heartbeats are personified into the laughs of a little angel named Yeji.

I never in my wildest imaginations thought of being able to understand the love my parents have and show me and my donsaengs. Yet, that unrealistic imagination is my current reality.

Laying my life down for my little princess seems like breathing. Normal, natural and easy.

Of course, I never want to impose the emotions some might lable as parenthood on Yeji. That might be outside her and her eomma's comfort zone.

I am happy being her friend. Her Prince Charming. Her movie marathon buddy.

Or perhaps I didn't know the true meaning of the word happy till now. For in this moment my heart couldn't hold the sheer amount of happiness it felt.

"I missed you too appa!"

Appa.

Did my vampire capability of superhearing malfunction?
I pray it didn't.