The Blip Bae

I Think You Broke The Captain

As they walked back into the party, Zoe was immediately whisked onto the dance floor by their host. It was after 2am and she was too tired to protest.

"So, you finally take his V-card out there?" Stark wiggled his eyebrows as he spun Zoe around. "Was it magical? Did he cry?"

"Listen carefully, as this will be the last time I even entertain this line of questioning, and I will only say it to you if promise to never make me go to one of these things again. " Zoe hissed in Stark's ear. "Steve and I are friends. Nothing more. He is not interested in someone like me, especially when he is surrounded by femme fatales and lethal federal agents who look like fucking supermodels daily. And frankly, the fact that you think a reasonably intelligent woman like me would be even remotely interested in a man like him, who comes with more issues than National Geographic and a flock of paparazzi following his every move, makes me question your genius almost as much as your sanity. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal." Stark smirked. "I knew I liked you, Not-So-Nurse Ratched. But just so you know, I have never seen the Capsicle react to a woman the way he reacts to you. Believe what you want, but it looks like love has finally found our Andy Hardy. Do you really want to break his precious little heart?"

"Hate to be the bearer of bad news, Tony, but it looks like Andy Hardy found some love on his own..." Zoe snickered as she pointed to where a skinny blonde agent had cornered Steve at the bar. "You were saying?"

"Well I'll be damned...I owe Romanoff a Porsche. Thanks, Zoe, really screwed the pooch on that one!" Tony laughed. "Oh well, let's watch our little man grow up, shall we?"

As Zoe was dancing with Tony, Steve couldn't focus. What the hell was this feeling? He wanted to punch his friend and run away, almost like the time when Bucky went to the big dance in high school with the pretty neighbor Steve had pined for since grammar school...Oh shit. Steve Rogers was jealous. He had to cover, he couldn't let her see him like this, she would laugh in his face again. Oh god. What would Bucky do? Think, Rogers! What would Bucky do...bingo.

Steve walked up to the small group of lower level former S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and said a polite hello. He then decided to ask one of them if he could have a word with her at the bar. The basic little blonde couldn't say yes fast enough, and soon he was trying to pay attention to whatever she was droning on about while making a decided effort not to look at Tony and Zoe whispering to each other on the dance floor.

He honestly had no idea what the girl in front of him was saying, because all he could think about was how Stark had his hands on Zoe's waist. How the fabric of her dress must feel. How warm and soft her body looked. How good she smelled when he was talking to her out on the balcony. The little flecks of gold in her green eyes. Damn it! Tony would never let him live this down if he knew. Okay, think. What would throw him off the scent for good? This young lady seems to be getting awfully close. Do I have to kiss her? She seems okay. But she's not Zoe...

"Can I steal him for a second? Sorry, miss..." Natasha scooted up next to him and scared off the blonde. "You looked like you needed saving, my friend. Those previously level 2 agents have been eye-fucking you all night..."

"Thanks, Nat." Steve sighed in relief. The song was over and Zoe had gone over to talk to Sam. He didn't have to pretend to be interested in whatever her name was anymore. "You definitely saved me."

"Yeah, you saved him from a night of potentially hot meaningless sex with that willing little blonde. Nice cockblocking, Romanoff." Tony sauntered over. "Also, I think I owe you a car..."

"Huh?" Steve looked baffled while Nat just laughed. "Did you wreck hers?"

"Nope, he just bet on the wrong horse again, Steven." Nat laughed harder. "Hey Tony, think it's time to get the real party started?"