The Blip Bae

Unfinished Business

Later that night, after a heated game of Trivial Pursuit that ended with Nat upending the board before she lost to Sam, Zoe was headed to bed when she noticed Steve's light was still on.

Nat had passed out an hour earlier, so Zoe had taken the opportunity to finish cleaning up from dinner so it wouldn't be in the way in the morning. It had been almost a year since that intense conversation between her and Steve, almost a year of overthinking and wondering what if. He was no longer "benefiting" with Nat, and she swore he was smirking at her flustered performance earlier...no, it would be too awkward. Too much time had passed. It was a terrible idea, since they were staying at her place for at least a week this time.

As she stood outside his door debating, she heard him call out. "I can hear you out there, just come in if you want." He opened the door, shirtless again, in just some pajama pants. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, totally." Zoe had a hard time looking him in the eye. "What are you doing up?"

"I could ask the same of you." Steve smirked. "Come on, let's catch up."

"Uh, sure." Zoe walked into the room and sat down on the desk chair, looking at the floor.

"Everything okay?" Steve asked, genuinely concerned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, but can I ask you to please put a shirt on?" Zoe finally folded. "You're a little distracting and I can't suck in my gut and talk to you at the same time."

"Ha, sure, hang on." Steve chuckled and grabbed a tee shirt. "Better?"

"Much." Zoe sighed in relief. "Way less intimidating. Thank you."

"No problem." Steve sat down on the bed. "So tell me how you've been."

"Me? Not much to tell." Zoe answered honestly. "It's been the same pattern of mundane civilian life, precariously balanced with constant worry about you guys."

"That's it?" Steve raised an eyebrow. "No fun? No travel? No dates?"

"Does going to Malibu count as travel?" She joked. "No, to be honest, I'm so afraid I'll miss a call or a message from Sam that I haven't actually done much of anything."

"I'm sorry that this effects you so much, Zoe." Steve conceded. "You shouldn't stop living your life just because we're in the wind. Go on a vacation. Try one of those weird hobbies you suggested to me. Making cheese or something? I can't remember, but you get the point. Waiting by the phone isn't what Sam, or any of us, wanted for you."

"No, but what if it was you?" Zoe asked him pointedly. "What if it was Barnes? What if you never knew when your best friend in the world might grace you with an update that he is still alive, and you missed the call?"

"I think they have a way to leave a message on those fancy new things, right?" Steve joked. "I might be a dinosaur, but even I know how to use voice mail."

"Sure, but hearing it live is so much better." Zoe breathed. "Getting to ask a question or two...maybe even hearing you idiots in the background."

"Idiots, huh?" Steve smirked. "I feel like I should be offended..."

"Absolutely." Zoe deadpanned. "You three are the biggest idiots I know, and I'm lucky to have you."

"Thanks, I think?" Steve laughed. "No, I get it. And you're right. If it was Bucky, I'd want to take the call."

"Any updates on him?" Zoe wondered if he could tell her. "It's okay if it's too hush-hush."

"Not since we last visited him in Wakanda." Steve let it slip, but figured she wouldn't be inclined to tell anyone as it would put Sam in jeopardy. "They're still taking him in and out of cryo while they work on deprogramming him."

"Wow, that sounds so advanced." Zoe couldn't help but be in awe of the science. "If it works, it could revolutionize how PTSD is treated."

"That's if it works." Steve's face fell. "It's still a work in progress. There's so much damage, it'll be nothing short of a miracle to get him even halfway back to normal."

"Well, here's hoping." Zoe smiled at him. "Though, from everything you've told me, are you sure you want him all the way back? Sounds like you might want to see if they can skip the skirt-chasing and bar brawling, hmm?"

"Ha, maybe." Steve chuckled. "Plus, I'm not sure I'm ready to be second fiddle again. Back in the day, no woman could resist him."

"Peggy did, you said yourself she never gave him the time of day. Only had eyes for you, right? Plus, times have changed, Steve." Zoe smirked. "Women definitely like a challenge, but a formerly brainwashed assassin might be a little too much 'bad boy' to handle. You'll be fine."

"You think?" Steve smirked. "I don't know, he was awfully charming..."

"And now he has a time-share in a freezer." Zoe quipped. "Not exactly a panty-dropper."

"God, I missed you." Steve laughed, then sighed. "Hey, so, I just wanted to say I'm sorry our last visit was cut short...and we left on not the best terms."

"It's fine. No harm done." Zoe tried not to get flustered. "You're here now, and we are clearly okay...but I feel like we have some unfinished business..."

"You really don't have to." he tried to save things from getting strained again. "It was a bad move on my part and I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable."

"No, I feel like I owe you an explanation." Zoe took a deep breath. "You put yourself out there and I shit all over your feelings. I was thoughtless and rude. You didn't deserve that."

"Maybe, but I was also being selfish, trying to make you feel bad for not liking me back." Steve ran his hands through his longer hair. "It was stupid and I never wanted to make you feel sorry for me."

"Who said I felt sorry for you?" Zoe countered. "I was upset, which turned into having a pity party because I let myself sink into those lovely base insecurities of mine. Besides, Rogers, we both know you're never gonna get over Peggy Carter." She smiled softly at him. "Hell, who can blame you? She's the original bad ass, I'd probably never get over someone like her, either. I think you were confused. Even so, you were just being honest...and I couldn't give you the answers you wanted."

"How about now?" Steve looked her in the eye. "Are you still mad at me?"

"I was never mad at you, I was skeptical." She had to look away. "I've spent way too much time thinking about what might have happened if we were both honest with each other. It's a non-issue now, it's not like we could start over. Never mind the fact that it's too complicated to ever consider in the future...besides, once you've had the best, why settle for us mere mortals?"

"That's my point. Sure, she might have taught me quite a bit, but the second she saw I was getting attached, that there were feelings involved, she shut it down. She told me I'm a goddamn cliche and that it was all too much." Steve swallowed hard. "If the circumstances were different, if we had just been upfront about everything, if we could actually be in the same time zone, are you saying you might have given us a shot?"

"I'm saying never say never, Steve." Zoe smiled sadly. "But until you are no longer an international fugitive who's still desperately hung up on his first love, I think it's pretty safe to say that ship has sailed. Does that answer your question?"

"Unfortunately, yes." He reached out and took her hand. "But at least there's still a chance, right?"

"Always the optimist." Zoe stood up and kissed his cheek. "Good night, Steve."

After she left, he sat with his hand pressed to his cheek like a sap, trying to commit their entire exchange to memory. She wasn't wrong about him still being hung up on Peggy, but that was a book forever closed. He was kicking himself for letting her leave before kissing her and admitting he still thought about her and wondered what if, too. That there was room for her in his heart, too. That he still wanted to make her feel like the only girl in the world if given half a chance. As he let a few silent tears fall, he chuckled bitterly to himself. He really was a goddamn cliche sometimes...