The Blip Bae

Good God, You're Boring

While Zoe finished making the pancakes, Sam busied himself making omelets for the others. Nat and Steve sat at the table watching, while the two old friends bantered.

"Seriously, I still don't understand why you don't eat eggs, Z." Sam asked incredulously. "You say you hate 'em, but you've never even tried mine! I can change your mind with one bite."

"Nope." Zoe flipped another pancake. "It's not just the taste, Birdbrain, it's the smell, the texture, everything. They are fucking repellent and it just means more for you, right?"

"But you'll eat cookies, right? There's eggs in cookies." Sam raised an eyebrow. "You make that chicken noodle soup with the egg noodles, those have egg right in the name!"

"True, but those eggs are well hidden, a small part of a larger whole..." Zoe smirked. "Kinda like you and the super friends....ow! Samuel Thomas Wilson! If I could, I would get Sarah on the phone right now to yell at you for unnecessary roughness, especially while I'm cooking!"

"Muscle spasm..." Sam deadpanned. "Oops."

"Full name, huh? You guys really are like siblings." Steve smirked while refilling his coffee. "Nat, can I get you another?"

"Thanks, but I'm good." Nat got up to peek out the blinds. "It's so nice outside, do you think we could go out? Nothing dangerous, but like, a walk or run some errands?"

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea right now. We don't know if anyone saw us come in last night." Steve crossed his arms, then noticed Nat looking wistful. "Maybe an errand? That way we would have a quick getaway if needed..."

"What do you think the safest thing to do is?" Zoe asked, placing the finished pancakes on the table. "I drive a pretty unremarkable car, but the windows aren't tinted...and it's a Prius, so hiding in the trunk would only really be an option for Nat."

"We can work with that." Steve thought about it for a second. "Maybe if not all of us go, and drive somewhere a bit further afield, so no one is seen in your neighborhood? Yeah, we can run errands, as long as it's nothing crazy. Sam?"

"Are you kidding? Let's go right now! We're finally in a place where I don't stick out as the only black man in the vicinity!" Sam quipped. "Do you know how hard it is for someone who looks like me to be inconspicuous in fucking Finland, Z? Let's go, fuck breakfast, I want out!"

"Calm down, Sam. Why don't we have something to eat, then you and me hit the big supermarket in the burbs?" Zoe suggested. "That way I can stock up on the unholy amount of calories it takes to maintain you three."

"I wanna go!" Nat cried. "It was my idea!"

"Fine, you and Sam, but the big guy stays here." Zoe nodded at Steve. "Besides, it might be a nice break for him, too." Zoe smirked. "Finding peace and quiet with you two around can't be easy..."

"Deal!" Nat laughed. "He needs to start on the laundry anyway."

"Ha! That's right! Steve lost the last round of scrabble, so he gets to deal with all the laundry." Sam laughed. "Just remember, I like my socks folded, not rolled."

"Yup, a bet's a bet." Steve sighed. "I'll work on it after breakfast."

"Hey Steve, you know, there's a few blank sketchbooks in the closet in your room if you would rather just relax." Zoe offered. "It's not much, but I've got water colors, pencils, ink, markers and a few oil crayons laying around up there. Help yourself."

"Really?" Steve looked like she just offered him one of her kidneys. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely! Knock yourself out!" Zoe encouraged. "Just don't spill any ink on the furniture, and we're good."