Atonement

12.Drowning in silence

                                                         SULTANA
Days passed, weeks passed and i can't seem to believe it's been two months since i last spoke to Qalb. He is trying so hard to ignore me and i can't help but give him the space he's been requesting for. Sultan informed me he has moved back to Kano completely, i was confused as to what to feel. Maybe he doesn't like me anymore but the world isn't ending.

It's raining today, dark clouds and heavy sound of rain falling on the roof. I am here, wearing the most comfortable two piece of cotton i have, a Balanciaga sweatpants and a hoodie, both black. I am alone with Sultan in the house, our parents travelled to Bauchi to visit some of our relatives and inform them about them travelling for umrah in a few days to come, if you ask me, it's totally not necessary.
Life has been nothing but a beautiful chaos, some days feel like i am drowning in a huge water body and some days like i am the only person that exist in the world filled with happiness and today is one of these days.
It was really hard convincing Sultan to enter the rain with me but it is beautiful, so here we are fully drenched in the cold beads of water.

"Sultana, i am done, look at me, as wet as a piece of clothes soaked in water." Sultan complained running back into the house.

"You are such a killer joy." I laughed and followed him.

I made my way to my room for a very quick hot shower to avoid the cold. Entering the rain is fun but it comes with a price. i took a quick shower and changed into a  pink thin sleeved silk nightgown and put on my oversized black sweater. I decided to just let my hair be because i am just with Sultan in the house with the maids, no non-mehrams at sight.

I walked to the mini parlor upstairs, Sultan is seated there watching Harry Potter , i can swear this is the hundreth time he is watching it in the past two months. I am not even exaggerating.

"Potter head."

"Hello Muggle."  He replied looking up.

" I don't evn know what that means so you too."

He let out a loud laugh throwing a sachet of date powder towards me.

"Me?" He said pointing at himself. "A muggle? Never!!!"

"And by the way, it's been five days...You need that."

Sultan is such a sweetheart, i wouldn't have asked for a better brother in this life and the next, thats if there is.

Date powder mixed with chocolate powder has been my coping mechanism for all these while, i can say it gives almost the same feelings as my abused drugs, just a little bit below it.
"Thank youuuuu."
"You are welcome, shooo, you are disturbing me."

I rolled my eyes and walked downstairs to th kitchen, Tomorrow is his birthday and being the best sister in the world, i decided to bake some cake for him, its almost almost 12am...i thought but i need me some confirmation. My phone says 10:12pm so i have enough time to make atleast three cake flavours. I am not really a good culinary artist but i have been trying, Mama even got me a totur and from the lessons, i can say i have learnt a few cakes and dishes. My dad said i am his favorite chef.

i opted for carrot cake, chocolate cake and ofcourse his and my favorite, Vanilla cake.
Mixing it is not a big deal for me, all i need is to put some ingredients together and mix but you see chocolate cake? i have to make twice its batter because of my so called tasting.

In a big bowl, i mixed my carrot cake and let it sit then got started on my vanilla cake, which is so far the easiest  to me.
After so much restraint, i left just a small amount of the chocolate cake batter and prepared my pans.

The weather is just perfect, a perfect mixture of the weather and scent in the kitchen. Instead of going back to Sultan, i called my mother.
"Hello Mama."