Atonement

28. Officially a good bye

                                                              SULTANA

Beep..
Beep...
Beep...
The sound of the machine echoes in my ears, I am not hurting, i am not angry, i am not happy...i am just devoid of every emotion as i look through the glass. The man who is now a part of my life is battling for his life yet still i can't do anything. Time passed, the doctors said they are trying their best. It's been hours...hours of blank feeling. I was supposed to tell him how much i love him, to show him how much he means to me after all of this.

I counted numbers, recited the alphabets, prayed but i am not getting better. The feeling of unrest moves around my veins like blood. Qalb texted me that Maryam had to go through an emergency CS and Alhamdulillah she gave birth to a baby girl.

"Sultana it's time for prayers, go and pray." Aneesa informed me. Everyone is here, both my family and his family, Qalb too. I smiled weakly and walked away. My feet heavy from the unknown weight i am carrying.

I cried so much in my sujood because only Allah knows what i am feeling at the moment. I stayed in the hospital's mosque for a while.

A notification popped in my phone, it was Sultan. Finally the doctors are out. I rushed out of the mosque to them.

All of them gathered around the doctor i had to squeeze yourself in. "Mrs Anwar Waziri right?" The doctor enquired and i nodded.

"I am sorry...." He started. For a moment my heart stopped, tears were already streaming down my eyes. A strong feeling quickly overtaking my senses, i couldn't help but grab him by the collar.

"You are sorry! YOU ARE MAD DOCTOR!" I shouted shaking him violently. "Sultana stop it, stop it mana." Amma pulled me back and dragged me a few steps away from the crowd.

"Amma, are you hearing what he is saying? I haven't told Anwar how i feel about him fa, i was planning on promising him a beautiful home when all of this is over...I want to be a good wife to him Amma.." I sobbed really hard, my heart aching real bad. She pulled me in and slowly pat my back.

"Calm down Mrs Anwar..." The Doctor's voice interrupted. I really wish i can rip his throat out at the moment but confusion got the best of me when i saw everyone smiling excluding me and Amma.

"Aneesa please tell her before she finishes me." He added and walked so many steps back.
Aneesa grabbed my hand and lead me to a seat, she passed a bottle of water to me and without hesitation, i gulped it down...My body aching and waiting for to her to explain.

"Mrs Anwar Waziri, Anwar Waziri is out of danger, in fact he should be up in a few hours then you can tell him you love him." She said with a chuckle and everyone laughed along.

You know when you feel utterly like an idiot? That's me right now, that feeling alongside embarrassment.

"He is?" An awkward smile finds it's way to my face.

"Yes he is, and the doctor wanted to apologize for keeping us waiting." She added and turned to the doctor. She held my hands and we walked to everyone. To my surprise, they all engulfed me in a hug.

"Now Sultana go and take shower, change, eat...we don't want you meeting the love of your life like this." My dad said making feel completely embarrassed. I hid my blush and walk towards the room Anwar is now in. He looked pale, sick yet still like a french god. I moved closer to him and gently place a peck on his forehead...God i love this man and i don't even know how it happened. His lips were soo welcoming that i had to remind myself that he is unconscious right now and needs some rest.

With my heavy legs and red eyes, i stepped out of the room.

"Toh se anjima and don't forget to rest well Sultana, Habu will bring some soup for you." Amma said hugging me.
I hugged everyone and excused myself out of the hospital.