arescere ✿ xavier thorpe

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33- to feel real with you

peter found himself eventually pulling himself from the sheets, moving over to the window. needing the breeze, he picked up his notebook. taking the ballpoint from xavier sleeping fingers. only then did he noticed the black ink writing around faded scars. pretty stars that would shine in the sky. the oranges lighting up the darkening sky. he let out a sigh of relief, soon followed by the sting of pain spreading over his hips. he made his way over the the wall, clutching the book close to his chest. he fell onto the wall. overlooking the skies around him. and for one moment, everything felt perfect. it was almost too true to be real. the sky was the most beautiful shades of oranges and reds melting into the most violets and royal blues. stars already pricking low in the sky the colour of the night sky drew close. everything was perfectly quiet. he found himself standing on his balcony now, leaning over to look far into the stretch of trees. he wondered if the lamia was still out there, lying where she may never live again. and he looked down. feeling the fear of heights setting as he stared down at the ground so far down. and he pulled out the book. his inky pen quickly scribbling down words. how he wished he had his phone right now. as he stood alone on the balcony, he couldn't help but think how truly alone he was. sure he had people he knew, but nobody really knew him. he was alone. always had been.

'you're on your own, kid, you always have been'

and xavier stepped out onto the balcony, rush of cold air hitting him as he found peter belfiore stood at the edge of the balcony. seeing a few of the ink smudged pages scribbled with words. 'to describe him, is to use words i cannot comprehend'. but what would the writer boy possibly mean by that?

"are you alright?" a voice questions and peter snapped to turn to look at thepainter boy. and he looked as pretty as peter though he was last night. his hair was tied up bow in a messy bun, xavier had obviously just thrown it up. his eyes are still covered by the dark bags. yet he looked more rested, like he knew peter was better.

"i'm fine xavie." peter spoke, eyes drifting back down to his pages, quickly closing the book he felt him move closer. xavier feeling the warmth rush up to his face at the nickname.

"are you certain?" he asked softly, raising his pale thumb to his own face. peter eyes darted to his lips watching as he ran his tongue across them. wetting them ever so slightly. followed by his thumb swiping across.

"i've never been certianer." peter added, the smallest hint of a smile raised o his features.

"more certain." xavier corrects the boy, his own smile lifting up on his lips. corners twitching upwards.

"certianist." peter chuckled, this reaction followed by the boy standing before him. a pause went between them, eyes glazed to the other. the sky above the two boys was now starlit. stars xavier found painted in peter's eyes. a sight he could never recreate, no matter how much he could try.

peter could feel those eyes upon his cold skin, he turned to find xavier leaning on the balcony beside him. staring intently at the boy's face, peter no longer enchanted by the stars speckling in the night sky. if peter were to write this moment, the look in which he would describe xavier thorpe to be giving him would be one as if he had put the stars into the skies.

"i'm sorry." xavier mumbled, eyes drifting from peter's eyes to the blush coloured lips. which occasionally get stuck between peter's teeth when he was nervous. like right now.

"you say that a lot." peter breathed out, hugging the book to his chest. letting xavier shuffle slightly closer to him. the warm inviting smell of vanilla wrapped around xavier.

"i feel it a lot." xavier followed with, he felt his finger twitch.ad only then did peter realise how close the two boys were. their hands were inches from each other. standing so close he could almost taste xavier's minty breath. a breath sucked between his slacked lips. he felt blissed. something had changed, they felt stretched. xavier liked peter, peter liked xavier. but something was neve quite right.but right now. xavier fingers trembling against peter's, the slash of stars surrounding them. it felt real. until the burn of orange reflected in xavier warm green eyes.

"is that fire?" and xavier followed peter's gaze to the lawn of the school. flames spreading across the grass. cries of students followed, confusion spreading through nevermore as the words 'fire will burn' banded itself onto the grass. peter wished he had his phone. the damaged smash phone lying somewhere on his desk. he had to find wednesday.