"Does it feel good knowing I'd kill for you, Jamilyn?"
***
Upon the passing of her grandfather, Jamilyn Caswell, moves back to Forks, Washington to aid her grandmother. What she didn't expect was to h...
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— "I have found so much beauty in the dark as I have found a lot of horrors in the light." —
I flinch as the door comes to a close, pinching my nose. "I shouldn't have said that."
But it's the truth.
Plunging my head underwater, I let the water flow into my ears, drowning out everything. Did I enjoy having Creed around? Most times, yes. But did that make me forget all the crazy shit he's done and probably is still plotting? No, definitely not.
Creed wasn't someone meant for long-term commitments unless there was something extraordinary to gain. I wanted his presence, the feel of him. I was drawn to his possessive yet protective side and it absolutely crushed my soul when I see how he interacts with Riley. I love Riley to death and I know once this ends—whenever it ends—I'll have to do it painfully or else he'll never let go. Riley has always been one to grow attached to people easily if they stick around long enough.
Coming back up, I rack my hand through my hair and rub my forehead. Speak for yourself, Jamilyn Caswell. You have parental issues and are drawn to anyone that shows you the slightest bit of affection. I've kissed, fucked, blown, and have even gone on a "date" with Creed and yet everything feels right and wrong simultaneously. What if—no. I shake my head and laugh cruelly. "As if I do—"
My heart lurches and I grasp my chest as a heavy feeling weighs there. "Fuck, why me? Papa, why did I have to fall in love with someone like him?" I whisper.
Silence as per usual swept the bathroom and it coaxes me out of the cold bath water. Once I finished getting dressed and packing a suitcase, I eventually find Abuela and Riley downstairs in the living room. I gain their attention, shifting on my heels. "We need to talk..." I filter most of the details for Riley's sake but explain briefly to both of them what has happened. Riley understands the need to leave under a different mindset, but Abuela looked as tho she was about to blow a fuse. "Riley, I need to talk to Abuela, please."
He jets out of the room, sensing the mood. "Abuela let me explain—"
"You have...ruined this family, Jamilyn Caswell," she mutters, avoiding eye contact at all costs.
I shudder as a helpless whimper left my throat. Whenever things got hard between me and Abuela, I get deeply emotional. I don't know why, but her being mad at me made me the most upset person on earth. "It's not his fault it's mine. I-I put my nose where it didn't belong and it just happened—"
Abuelas thunderous gaze met mine and I had to take a step back at the intensity. She points a finger at me, gripping her crochet hooks. "I have been so lenient with you, especially because of what happened with your mother, but no! You want to take advantage of me and my home and my space and hook up with some sort of gang banger!"
I shake my head, grasping her hands desperately. "It's not like that...Abuela, please! He's not a gang banger or someone to be scared of–" liar, "He protects me, us, and Riley. I can't give all the details but just know that he's not in our lives to hurt us! Now we have to go..."
