weezer x radiohead

im jon wood

thoms pov

NOO WHAT WAS I GOING TO DO??? my sweet rivers, the love of my life had the ex love of my life??
what was he going to do to jonny. i had to save him.

what would i tell colin? that i let his brother get brutally eaten?? he would kill me and revoke head privileges!!!

"RIVERS... RIVERS!!" i screamed. but he didn't seem to understand me. so i started sprinting after him

for a wolf, he was surprisingly slow. once he got out of the house he'd already started gasping for air while walking.

"JON, JONNY ARE YOU OK?" i screamed

"yes im fine thom although a bit confused why rivers wolf keeps trying to pull out my butt plug!!" jonny whimpered

brian ran outside and i could still hear ed scream crying after hearing jonny wasn't in love with him.

i turned to look alpha rivers in the eye.

"rivers. this isn't like you. please. im begging. stop. put jonny down."

"NO. NO OTHER MAN GETS TO HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH MY POOKIE THOMAS EDWARD YORKE. ANY MAN WHOS HAD PAST RELATIONS WITH THOM WILL DIE."

then, he threw jonny onto the ground and ran away.
oh shit. ive had so many sexual relations with so many men. the whole band would be dead (except for phil, the only normal one out of all of us)

rivers started sprinting down the street, biting random men. half of them i barely remember having sex with!! man i am such a little slut

i turned to brian and asked "how do we stop him?"

"i told you rivers. you have to kill him. hundreds of men will die."

"eh my body count is more in the thousands but whatever" i smirked

i didnt want to lose rivers. but there was no other way. think of all the men who would lose their lives! damon albarn shagged me once, don't wanna lose the britpop icon!

"so, how do we kill him?" i asked brian submissively.

"with this." he said, pulling out a massive plastic stick.