Destination Wedding

25

Taehyung felt sparks from head to toe. Did I just do that? I just did that. Shit, shit, shit. He leaned back to see Jeongguk holding his position, eyes closed and lips parted, fighting a smirk. When Jeongguk opened his eyes, he saw a wide-eyed Taehyung who looked like a deer caught in headlights. "Wait, wait hyung."

Taehyung gulped. "What?" he whispered.

"Before all of the thoughts come flooding in, can you just do that again?"

"What?"

"Can we do that again?" asked Jeongguk. Taehyung swallowed and nodded. Jeongguk slowly pushed himself off the blanket to lean over Taehyung. For a brief moment, the younger worried that this might be the last time they kissed. He placed one hand beside the elder's head and carefully caressed his sharp jaw with the other, thumbing his plush bottom lip once more. He slowly threaded his fingers in the soft locks at Taehyung's nape and cradled his head, bringing him up to meet his mouth. The two simultaneously breathed each other in as their lips parted to interlock. Taehyung exhaled the softest of whimpers and Jeongguk couldn't help but part the elder's lips with his tongue. Taehyung's body responded instantly. He pushed himself up on his elbows, pressing deeper into the kiss while caressing Jeongguk's tongue with his own. Jeongguk softly sucked on his hyung's pouting lip before pulling away to recenter them both.

Taehyung just gaped.

"Okay, go for it."

"What?" Taehyung questioned, sounding bewildered.

"Tell me what you're thinking. I see the gears turning," supplied Jeongguk.

Taehyung choked a laugh and grasped for the right words.

"It's okay, hyung, just talk to me now," said the younger.

Taehyung cleared his throat. "Okay, erm... where to begin. One, that was really... really nice. Two, I'm freaking out inside."

"Go on."

"I'm scared," offered Taehyung earnestly.

"Tell me what you're scared of."

Taehyung blushed. He half-expected Jeongguk to ask why he was scared, but he was giving Taehyung the opportunity to express his thoughts rather than defend himself. "I'm scared of disappointing you. I'm scared of hurting you. I've been such a mess and you've been so supportive, picking me up right where we left off. But after what happened, I fear that I won't be able to give you what you want."

"You're worried about me?" Jeongguk asked.

"Yeah. What if we develop these feelings and I suddenly run for the hills because I'm not good at..."

"Relationships?"

"Yeah."

"Do you blame yourself for what happened with Bogum?"

Taehyung sighed. "No... yes? I don't know."

"Come here." Jeongguk pulled Taehyung up to sit, facing him on the blanket. "Do you want to know what I think?"

"I need to know what you think," said Taehyung, desperate for the younger to anchor him.

"Okay, now where do I begin." Jeongguk paused. "Well, for one, what happened was not your fault. Whether you think you pushed him away, or should've seen it coming, what happened is on him. Some people are just shit, and some people, like you, suffer things that they don't deserve." Taehyung breathed deeply. He believed Jeongguk's words, but had spent months trying to rationalize the crumbling of his previous relationship and worried he was the root cause.

"Okay," Taehyung conceded.

"And two, I've wanted to kiss you since forever and despite your fears of hurting me, I want to take that risk."

"You do?" Taehyung felt his heart beating through his chest now.

"Look, if you tell me that you kissed me in a moment of abandon and you don't want it to happen again, I promise I won't hold it against you. I said it was hard to keep myself from kissing you because I really was trying not to. I didn't want to engage in something you're not ready for and if you're not ready, I get it. It won't be without difficulty, but I'll accept it because I care too much about you, hyung."

Taehyung looked at Jeongguk with shy admiration. "You're too good for me."

"I'd disagree. But I will not pressure you. The future holds a lot of unknowns and who knows what will happen after this trip. I'm not asking you to be my boyfriend... I don't feel I have the right to ask anything of you. But the things I'm feeling for you, I don't know. I'm rambling."

"It's like no time has passed."

"Right? I know we haven't seen each other in so long but I feel like I know you and it's not as strange as it should be."

"I feel the same way," said Taehyung, looking down at his hands which were gathered by Jeongguk.

"I hate to say too much. Let me just say that if you don't want this to go any further, it won't. But if you are open to exploring these feelings while we have this time together, then I'm here for it. You're worth it, Taehyung." Jeongguk knew these feelings were rare for him. He wouldn't dare confess any of this if he didn't feel the pull to Taehyung that he did.

Taehyung melted at his words. The pair clearly had reciprocated feelings but Jeongguk made it clear that he wouldn't push an agenda. His insides swirled with the months of hurt he'd endured, but he felt safe and cared for in this brief time with Jeongguk. He groped for the right words to say, when Jeongguk squeezed his hands.

"Look at me, hyung." Taehyung looked up from their intertwined hands to find Jeongguk meeting his gaze. "I will follow your lead."

Taehyung felt his eyes brim and he giggled a watery laugh. "God, what is the matter with me?"

Jeongguk stroked the elders cheek. "Nothing is the matter with you. You're heart is so big."

Taehyung instinctively climbed into the other's lap, straddling his hips and settling into the space between the younger's legs. "Is this crazy?"

"Maybe," smiled Jeongguk.

Taehyung nodded, but he knew he wanted to explore this too. Rather than saying so, he moved in to kiss Jeongguk on the cheek, and after looking into his fond eyes, he kissed him, and felt a shower of sparks all over again.