Running From The Flames

Massages

"Go," I urged as I pushed Pierre to the door but he wouldn't budge. "I'm not going to be the reason you miss out on fun stuff."

Pierre took my hands from where I had planted them on his chest and kissed my palms. "There'll be other parties, mon ange, and next year when we come back it'll be from the top of the podium."

"People are going to blame me."

"Then I'll tell them the truth." The walk had completely sobered him up and he was once again talking clearly and back in English. But now that he was sober he wasn't interested in going back to the casino and getting drunk again with his friends. "You are completely to blame." He laughed as my jaw dropped. "What? I want to spend my time with you, and Addie. You make me happy. The parties are good at filling the emptiness inside but that's all."

When he put out like that I could hardly keep pushing him towards the door and so I stepped into his embrace instead. "What happens tomorrow? Or next week, Pierre? How does this work long term?"

"We make it work, because it's worth it," he answered honestly. "I have three days off and if you'll let me, I'll follow wherever you go."

Butterflies erupted in my tummy and while my head warmed me we were moving too fast my heart ignored it completely. "I don't actually have anything planned, I was going to play it by ear for the next two months until I have to be in Paris for the job I have lined up."

Hope filled Pierre's face at the news and he eagerly led me to the couch, tugging me down beside him to make our plans together.

–

"Three days and I'll see you in Spain," Otmar confirmed after we had finished our late breakfast and he shook hands with Pierre before turning to me. "And what about you, kiddo?"

I looked at Pierre and he winked back, our plans already made together for the week ahead - at least. "I'll be there too."

With that, we waved Otmar off as he left to go to the airport and spend a few days at home before the next race in Spain.

Overnight the city had changed dramatically and aside from the grandstand seating that was still being dismantled, the streets were back to normal and far emptier with most of the teams leaving. With everyone leaving Addie was in a terrible mood, after all the goodbyes to Grandad and then Poppa Otty, plus the new found friends she had made in the Alpine team, she became clingy and stuck like glue to Pierre.

"Sweetie, you are going to choke him," I chided as I loosened her grip around his throat from where she was piggybacking on his back.

She fought against my hands, holding on even tighter. "Don't want Pear to go."

"Pierre," I tried to correct her, but it was a work in progress.

"Pee-year," she repeated.

Pierre laughed at the attempt. "Close enough."

"Pierre isn't leaving us. We are going to spend the next few days taking a little road trip with him. If that's alright with you?"

He grunted as she suddenly bounced excitedly on his back with approval at the idea and I helped her off him so we could head back up to our room to pack our bags. Pierre had already checked out of his hotel so it was just mine and Addie's to pick up and I was grateful to have the extra pair of hands and a large SUV to fit everything in.

"Did she hurt you?" I asked as I noticed him putting pressure on his lower back with the heel of his hands when we entered my suite.

"No, she's fine, I'm just stiff from yesterday. Street races are bumpier than the circuits."

I wasn't a masseuse by any measure of the word but I didn't want Pierre to be in pain and sent Addie off to her toiletry bag to get her bottle of baby oil while I pointed to the couch. "Take your shirt off and lay down," I ordered him as Addie quickly delivered the bottle.

"I'm fine," he tried to insist but I gave him the same look I had when he lied about his gums hurting.

"It's over two and a half hours to Marseille and it might get worse," I coaxed, reaching for the hem of his shirt when he placed his hand over mine. "You don't need to be all macho."

His hand fell away and I pulled the loose cotton shirt over his head, laying it over the arm of the couch so it didn't get crinkled. Pierre jumped slightly when I poured the oil down his spine and again when my cold hands touched his skin. He soon relaxed into the soft cushions as I massaged his lower back and the oil warmed from the friction.

The relaxation only lasted until Addie decided she didn't want to miss out and started to 'help' smearing the baby oil all over his back and shoulders and trying to copy what I was doing.

We soon learnt that he had a ticklish spot when Addie prodded his ribs and he jolted in response with a laugh, "not there."

Even a two year old knew that giving away a ticklish spot was an invitation and she was not wasting the opportunity. English quickly turned to French as Pierre tried to scramble away but he was trapped by the back of the couch, his pleas for mercy not something she was able to understand.

"Okay, that's enough," I said when I finally recovered from laughing and caught Addie's hands to stop her from trying again, "or he won't want to take us anywhere. You can take a shower if you want, or you'll get oil all over your shirt."

While Pierre was in the bathroom I packed my suitcase and checked there was nothing of Addie's left lying around or under the beds. Satisfied I had everything, I piled our belongings by the front door and called reception for a bellhop to help take it to Pierre's car.

I had just hung up the room phone when my cell phone blared to life.

"Dr Pascoe, did we have an appointment?" I answered, confused because I didn't remember seeing an email from her.

"No, no, I saw some of the Formula One news in the papers here and I thought I would check in to see how you are doing."

"Oh, that's kind of you, but I'm actually handling things pretty well. Pierre is a great support and it is easy to be open with him."

"That's great to hear, and what about Trent Gordon? He's always been a trigger when we have spoken."

I sat down on the couch and hung my head in my hands. "I still can't believe what he did. What if Erik tries to get custody of her? She's safe while he's still in prison but then what? I don't want to have this hanging over me for the next seven years."

"Your mother is a brilliant lawyer, you should speak to her when you can.  For now, I suggest you focus on what you can control. Use the exercises we have been over in our sessions and write down what positives there are in your life right now."

"She's too wrapped up in some big case to worry about this."

"Don't underestimate what a mother will do to help her child, I'm sure she can find time for you. I'll check in next week but you have my number if you need to talk before then."

I dropped my phone on my lap after hanging up and sagged back into the chair. Positives, positives, think of the positives.

I had a healthy, happy child
We were going to have the summer of a lifetime together
I had met a wonderful man who treated me and Addie with respect
I felt like I had a place I belonged again - the paddock
The mental list worked to make me feel better and I took a few deep breaths before the bathroom door opened and Pierre stepped out.

"Ready to go?"

Addie was already at the front door sitting on her suitcase eating crackers, even though she'd  had breakfast not too long ago, and she jumped up in an instant. "Ready!"

He walked over to me and offered his hand to pull me up as the doorbell rang. "Perfect timing," I said with a smile, feeling like the planets were aligning for us and giving this road trip a blessing. "Marseille here we come."