Running From The Flames

Reunions

It was almost midnight local time when we landed in Montreal and Addie was fast asleep. I thought she was going to stay awake the entire flight the way she was bouncing on her seat with excitement, more than ready to see Pierre again.

For the first time, I was dreading it.

I had been awake for more than 30 hours, and I had spent every second of the flight dissecting every word we had exchanged on the short phone call.

'Are you alright?'

'Fine.' I lied. 'You?'

'Don't worry about me.'

'I should have told you.'

'We'll talk about it later.' The flight attendant had announced that cellphones needed to be turned off and Pierre had sighed. 'Je t'aime.'

When was 'later'? And what exactly did he want to talk about? My mind ran through all the possible answers to the questions and every scenario seemed to be more daunting than the last until the wheels touched down and my stomach lurched.

Was the sigh one of sadness or pity or exhaustion? He said he loved me, that was a good sign. At least I hoped.

I slung my handbag over my shoulder and picked up Addie, her head coming to rest on my shoulder as she remained asleep and I made my way out of the first class cabin.

It felt like I was sleepwalking, my feet moving on their own accord and not through any conscious thought of my own. I'm surprised I didn't flag the security as they asked me the standard questions when I showed my passport.

"No, not here on business," I replied in a daze.

"Anything to declare?"

I'm emotionally unstable and might just vomit all over your bench. "No, nothing."

"Enjoy your stay, Miss Vowles." He stamped the entry permit onto the next free pages of our passports before handing them back and waving me through to the arrivals lounge.

Our flight had been full and arrived not long after Pierre's was supposed to land, so there was still a large crowd even at the late hour. The sudden influx of noise stirred Addie and she lifted her head to look around at the families reuniting. Her eyes lingered on a girl a little older than her as she ran away from a woman and into the arms of a man, screaming 'daddy' excitedly.

She had never really asked questions about her father and I wondered now what she was thinking as she stared at the three of them hugging each other tightly.

Suddenly she started squirming in my arms and I grunted at the shift in weight as she kicked my suitcase from my other hand. I carefully lowered her to the ground before she moved in a way I couldn't and was dropped but the moment her feet touched the universal grey vinyl flooring she took off.

"Addie!" I cried out as she disappeared into the crown and I rushed to chase her down.

I stumbled to a stop when I broke through the line of people and heard her squeal with joy as she was lifted into the air.

"I missed you, princesse," Pierre said with a grin after catching her and holding her tight. He looked up when Addie turned and pointed to me and the smile was lost as he took a slow step forward, concern replacing the joy his face had held. "Mon ange, you look..."

"Like shit?" I offered but he shook his head and opened his free arm instead of reaching for me. He had always been perceptive of me and it showed when he gave me the choice of his embrace, and I think he had a new understanding of why since seeing the interview.