Behind the Facade// DDLC FANFIC

Is This The End?

TW: *self harm, bullying, substance abuse, depression,suicidal thoughts, overdose, attempted suicide* THIS CHAPTER IS VERY TRIGGERING!!!!

Sayoris POV-

"Let go off me!" I yelled at Monika, as she gripped onto my wrist tightly whilst walking down the path. I heard school kids yelling and laughing as we pasted another school nearby. "Your better off moving to a new school, because trust me, I'll make your life hell." She whispered evilly.
She dragged me to the floor and I hit my head hard on the concrete. The impact alone made me feel like something inside was crushed. I yelled out but she quickly leaned down and covered my mouth. I bit her fingers and she elbowed me in the guts. I spluttered out in agony as I rolled to the side. She stood up, wiped her skirt and smiled innocently.
"Why dont you just kill me already.." I moaned in pain, holding my stomach tight. I felt like i was gonna throw up, or cry. Possibly both.. She smiled weakily, and that smile quickly turned bitter.

"Why dont you just kill yourself?" Her face was dull, yet angry. I didn't cry, or maybe couldn't.  I stood up slowly in pain.
"I'm starting to ask myself the same question." I limped away in pain as blood poured down my face in drips. I've never wanted to die as much as I did at that moment. I went home in embarassment. I couldn't feel anything but ache in my heart.  I just wanted to jump into a main road filled with cars. I wanted to scream at Monika, rage, cry, scream, and do it all again right infront of her.
I wanted to intimidate her, I wanted control...control.?

I went to my doorstep, pushing the door with force. I slammed the door and sighed heavily. Taking off my shoes, something inside me snapped. My heart completely sank, and I stared up at my stairs as my heart pumped fast. I ran up to my bathroom and ran the tap in the bath tub.  I took off my blazer, jumper, polo shirt and skirt. I was only in my bra and panties, and I stared at my bloody clothing on the floor, and turned to my mirror to see my blood covered face. My weightless arms covered in scars.
"Your worthless, your nothing, your stupid, you'll never make it anywhere far." I whispered manically under my breath. Tears dripped down my faces as I stare at myself smiling. I heard the gentle voice of MC behind me. "Your worth so much Sayori, your alot to me.."

I shove my fist into the mirror and scream. It shatters into pieces, and blood drips down with the shards that slowly twist out of place and fall. My fist is covered in thick red blood and I pant heavily. "I AM NOTHING, OKAY? IF I WAS SOMETHING, YOU WOULD-" I stop and my body's shaking. "You would love me."
I scrummage through the cabinets whilst the water slowly rises in the bath tub. I see loads of paracetamol tablets, and I pop them all out and  shove as much as I can before gagging. I'm lucky that they dissolve in your mouth, unless I would have died before swallowing two due to suffocation. The water rises to a drown worthy amount, and I turn off the tap quickly.  I find a blade in the cabinet, and I try to resist the urge,  but the thoughts win and I  cut all the way up my arm, but when I started, an agonising shock fills my body. I cut a nerve, Shit!

I start panicking when the blood fills the floor, and I quickly wiped it with my clothes. The blood spurts out quickly and I take of my bra and panties swiftly, but as I try to go into the bath I lose conscious and fall straight in hitting my head on the wall besides the tub. All I remember was my head going straight down to the bottom.

I wake up, in my old house. I hear my mother turn on a lighter in the living room. I feel so small, and weak. I stare at my arms out infront of me, to see skinny, small arms. It's younger me. I go into the living room, to see her smoking. I go up to her and smile. "Mom! I missed you!" I jump up to the coach and sit beside her. She ignores me and stares right at the paper infront of her, my tests result.
"What is this? 8/32? Thats only a quarter correct!" She flips the table over and the vase cracks into millions of pieces. I move back out of fear and start trembling. She pulls me by my front hairs and shoves her cigarette into my head. I scream in pain and start kicking legs until she shoves me back.
"Monika got 31/32, and she got one question wrong. You know why? Because instead of letting her study, your insufferable self keep going over to her house and distracting her!" She screams in my face and I start crying. "Oh please, don't start with those tears! Why couldn't Monika be my child." She scoffs while lighting another cigarette and blowing the smoke in my face. She went to her bedroom and slammed the door. I sit there crying silently with the burn on my head. My dad comes out his room and sits beside me.

"Cmon baby, let's go study. But first, heres an icepack. I'll promise to hide the results next time, I'm so sorry.." He sighs, holding the icepack to my head and I squeal in pain. He shushes me, and It's reasonable..he doesn't want mom to hear. "I love you, Sayori."

"I love you too."

I woke up, gasping for air to see the brightness of the sun pierce my eyes. I was tied onto a strecther, and I felt the blood drip down my entire body. I couldn't breathe, as I kept throwing up water and blood. I tilted my head to the side in complete pain. My entire body was on fire, and I finally looked to the right. To see the devilish emerald eyes of Monika stab my eyes, and I watched her.
Hold, MC. And watched hopelessly, as they kissed.

I hyperventilated hysterically and started screaming and choking, until I passed out.

It was obviously true.

He will never love me.

I can't be loved.

I am unlovable.