Photographs ✓

5

     Tae succumbed into his chair, a broken sob leaving his lips followed by many more, the new set of photos he received this morning clutched in his tight grasp. He shakes his head trying to stop himself from sobbing hard like he always does whenever his eyes land on the contents these brown covers Jihoon sends him everyday.

     Yeah,the boy never gives them to him personally but always has one of his friends or classmates deliver it to the brunette with the impression that it was the photographs that he has taken for the student newspaper. And it was corrected up to an extent, after Jihoon is doing this to ensure his post in the newspaper.

    And the reason why he is not able to face the brunette must be the guilt of resorting to unfair ways to get into the newspaper. But still wasn't he the one asking him to make the selection without considering anyone else. 

     Or maybe it's because of his guilt of breaking the star couple of the university through his efforts. After all, both Tae and Jihoon know what is the final outcome that's waiting at the end, and it is the break up when the brunette has had enough.

    Tae sniffled sadly at the thought. Is he really going to break up with Jungkook? Can he really survive the heartbreak that is sure to come.

     He chuckled dryly. He couldn't even handle it when he is still the one who calls the ravenette as his. Then what would happen to him when he has to see someone else taking over his place?

      And he was sure that Jungkook wouldn't cheat on him with her until he is free from his relationship with brunette. And he is not going to do that on his own either because Tae out of everyone knows that hurting him would be the last thing Jungkook wants to do. So it's up to him to decide where their lives should lead to and who is going to be with who. 

     But sadly the brunette was not strong enough to take the step which the ravenette is expecting him to. Because his love for him is too much than his own ethics.

      But these days he has been spending alone in their shared apartment, sobbing hard in the dark, he has been wondering if he is making the right choice by holding back the boy who has been everything to him. And did he really make the right decision by accepting the confession from the ravenette even though it was the best thing ever happened to him.

     He tried to stop crying but he was unable to. It hurts so much as the memories they made flash in front of him.

    Did Jungkook fall out of love, and is now pretending to be still in love for the sake of him? 

     The thought made him cry harder and he couldn't believe that he's crying like a loser in their office room where any of his members could walk in. But he didn't know what to do when his heart was in pain and the tears wouldn't stop.

      He was being gloomy and lifeless these days, all of his friends have been pointing that out, asking him if he is alright. But the one who wants to take notice and be worried for him is still unaware of it. Or does he care anymore. Is he being a burden for him?

     Tae losing his mind, only unwanted thoughts clouding his mind and making him go crazy even though he never let anyone see that. 

      They only knew that he had too much on his mind these days. The only person who knows about what it may be is Jihoon, no maybe he must have already realized how much of a pathetic loser he is. 

     He heaves out a sigh, shaking his head. I'm not a loser, after all, Kookie loves me, he tries to assure himself. 

    But who is he trying to fool, because he knows very well that it's a fact which was true in the past but not anymore.

     He knew that he's becoming pessimistic, only trying to see the negative feelings while there was a lot he was ignoring. Because after all, Jungkook never acted like there was anything changed between them. 

    But how can he still ignore the way his eyes lighten up when he looks at her. And he has not seen that glint in his eyes for a long time.

     Because all the time Jungkook comes back, Tae may have already slept or at least pretend to have slept. And when it's not the case, he avoids meeting his eyes at any cost. 

    Because he doesn't want to see how Jungkook looks at him now, and he doesn't want to accept that the love the ravenette has for him is already fading as well as the twinkles in his eyes when he looks at him.

    And Tae is not strong enough to face the harsh reality even though one day he should. But he is not yet ready for that, he is not ready to let go even when he feels nothing but despair and sorrow when he looks at the set of photographs Jihoon is sending him each day.

    He knows that he's not doing the right thing. Instead of confronting his boy regarding a matter so pressing, all he is doing is hiding behind his mask of happiness and waiting for evidence of betrayal from his boyfriend who has never in their three years together uttered even a single hurtful thing to him all the while showering him with love and affection.

    .But seems like it's all changing and Jungkook has already met the right person for him, the one who deserves him more than the brunette himself.

     Negative thoughts that's the only things that have been in his mind, even when he thought he was the luckiest, but it was only a facade to keep his true feelings from Jungkook.

     Because since the day one of their relationship, Tae was fearing for such a day to approach, someone else coming between them.

    And the thought scared him to the core. Jungkook is the only family he has on this earth. And losing him means losing himself and he doesn't know how he will survive.

     But he's not going to be selfish even if he wants to. And he's not going to snatch away happiness from the boy who gives him so much of the same each day together.

    But their togetherness is coming to an end sadly, and the day he has been picturing like a vivid photograph in his mind is now happening finally, as the photographs clutched in his hands are mocking at him, taunting how much of an unwanted presence he is.

    Tears started rolling down his cheeks, which he wiped away harshly. No, there is no use in sitting here and crying because of how long he could go on like this. Because he was sure that the ravenette wouldn't break up with him ever.

     But he couldn't be happier about it because that only meant how much Jungkook may hate him in his mind for being a burden who would never leave him alone even if it's already clear that he is not the one that the ravenette needs in his life and arms.