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8

   Tae sighed as he got into the cab, after putting his luggage into the trunk. He sighed softly looking out of the window wondering what is he supposed to expect when he is finally back in Korea after a month.

    Of course, his internship was a kind of disaster according to him even though his guide in the company would disagree. The man even offered him a job there which he could join after he graduates from the college. 

    And Tae, despite knowing he may not accept the offer, didn't say anything to decline it either. Who knows maybe he would need that job later. After all, he is on his own, and there is no one else to support him in his career path.

     All these years, even when he was in tears thinking about the family he had lost long ago, he thought at least he wouldn't be all alone. He has Jungkook to take care of him even if he ends up jobless. But now he doesn't know anymore. And he could only pray that he's prepared enough for what he might be facing later.

    He chuckles, distraught and anxiety engulfing him. He didn't want to let him go but he doesn't want to be a leech either and test Jungkook's patience until he snaps.

     His boyfriend of three years, whom he loves more than anything else is getting swayed by someone else and there is nothing he could do but accept it and let go even when he knows that he wouldn't survive without him.

    It was clear from her gestures and words that the girl has a thing for his boyfriend and instead of warning her or staying away from her, he is encouraging her to go on and pursue him by catering to her needs like a gentleman. 

    Tae sighs, running his fingers through his hair. But he didn't know how he should go on. 

     Should he really break up with him and try to move on? Or should he stick around and try his luck in winning him back?

    No, he's not that horrible. Jungkook has done so much for him when he was in need of a shoulder to lean on. And when the ravenette has finally found someone he could love truly, he's trying to take it away from him.

    It's okay, he's ready, he was chanting that like a mantra hoping that his heart would finally accept it and stop fighting against it. 

    But he doesn't know if he would ever try to be in a relationship later. He doesn't know if he could even trust someone after this. 

    He leaned back on his seat, yawning then, his tired eyes wandering as the car sped towards the destination.

     He hasn't slept much in the plane with all the anxious thoughts keeping him up. He was not sure what he was going to face when he reached the apartment and even if he didn't want to think about it and hurt himself more, those thoughts mercilessly occupied his head making him break down a few times in the plane, while keeping his sobs barely audible.

    He noticed a few fellow passengers throwing concerned gazes at him and he was hoping that they wouldn't ask him about it and thankfully they didn't.

    And all the tiredness was wearing him down, all he wanted to do was to lie down on his bed and sleep. But if Jungkook is going to be there at the apartment, it is not going to happen.

     And he was honestly too scared to think about hoping for a nap when the scenarios playing on his head were all pointing to a certain direction, the break up.

    Tae sniffled sadly, his teary eyes fixed on the door of the apartment he used to share with Jungkook. But as soon as he realised what he was doing, he was quick to wipe them off, patting his cheeks a few times.

    And he has already been sure that maybe this is the last time he's going to be here. Because it's after all, Jungkook's apartment and if they are meant to break up there is no reason for him to come back.

    And no, he was not just a lover for him. They were best friends since childhood before they fell for each other. But Tae is not ready to keep in touch with him as a best friend if he had to give up on him now.

    He knew that he had to fight, he had the right to make Jungkook stay. He could beg him to stay and the ravenette will.

   But still why is he giving up when he has all the reasons for him?

     Because he didn't want to do this anymore. He is tired of hurting himself again and again, he is tired of waiting for the day he will be all alone, because how much he wants to believe his boyfriend's words, he couldn't because why would he be the only one the ravenette wants forever?

     He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even realize that when he raised his hands and pressed on the calling bell even though he knew the passcode. Because he's not really sure what he is supposed to expect if he just walks in as usual and especially when Jungkook has no idea of him returning today.