Words Not Spoken

III

Slowly dancing, feeling the music in her heart,
She's spinning but her eyes stay on you.
The feeling? What's that word? You haven't said it in years.
Waking up to a face that causes you to smile,
His hair is a mess and his clothing still reminds you of the feeling you had when you first saw him.
What about that feeling? Have you remembered it?
Those beautiful sounds, the laugh of the child you hold dear.
The way they smile and laugh lets you know that the world isn't all that bad.
That feeling? Why can't I remember the name?
The flowers grow freely around you as you walk through a field. The sway of the leaves when the wind blows.
The bees and butterflies minding their own business.
How about now? Can you remember it?
Sitting down with a book and a blanket, with the t.v on just for background sound.
The smell right before it rains
The rain hitting your head and arms
The smell of s'mores roasting or the fire keeping you warm
Can you remember it? That feeling?
That one word used to describe the face of a new mother
That word that describes the feeling you get when you think of their name
That word.
I haven't used it in so long.
But of course, I feel it.
I feel it when I read my favorite book
I feel it when I see my favorite person
I feel it when I wake up knowing that today won't be a bad day
But that word...I can't remember the name
I know the feeling
I just don't know the name
I've spent so long knowing what loneliness feels like that I haven't learned any other words
I want to know that word.
That one word.
That word they use to describe the feeling you get at a concert
Because I want to say it
I want to say that I wake up to a beautiful face every morning
I want to say that I know how to slow dance to the beat of my partner's heart
I want to say that I know the feeling of hearing a baby laugh for the first time
Because I want to say it
Because I want it.