Her Bad Reputation (Shawn Mendes)

Chapter 14

~The next morning~

Kat POV

I woke up with the sun peeping through the curtains in my room and that was when I realized that Shawn was in bed with me.  I turned my body to face him and saw that he was still asleep.  I decided to wake him up gently.

"Shawn," I said quietly while shaking his shoulder.  I took a minute to admire him in his sleep.  I studied all the features on his face.  The way his curls fell on his face and how his lips were curled in a small smile.  He slowly started to open his eyes and I quickly looked away before he caught me looking.

"Hi beautiful," he said in his morning voice.

"Hey handsome. How'd you sleep?," I asked.

"Pretty good actually.  How far did we go last night?," he asked.

"If you're asking if we had sex then not that far."

"I'm actually surprised."

"You know you weren't that bad," I said to him.

"It was actually my first time," he said.

"What? You have never hooked up with a girl before?," I said.

"No. The furthest I've gone is just making out."

"Well I'm honored to be your first," I said.

"You really know how to flatter a guy you know that?," he said.

"It's one of my many gifts," I said while sitting on the bed next to him.  

"Have you ever had a boyfriend before?"

"No. Cody was my only boyfriend."

"Wait he was your boyfriend?  I thought you guys were just hooking up."

"We were boyfriend and girlfriend before he started dating Addison," I said.  

"Wow. I didn't know that.  I only had one girlfriend in my entire life," he said.

"There's no way you only had one girlfriend."

"Yeah I did," he answered.  

"You're such a nice guy and you're really cute as well," I said.

"Did you call me cute?"

"Yeah." I said blushing,"you are".

"So are you. Any guy would be lucky to have you," he said leaning in to kiss me.  He pressed his lips against mine and I found myself kissing him back.  My hands found their way to his curly brown hair running my fingers through it.  His hands wound up finding my waist and he deepened the kiss.  I moaned against his lips as I pulled away and connected my lips with his again.

"Kat," he moaned my name and I quickly pulled away from him.  I got off the bed and Shawn gave me a confused look.

"What the hell was that about?," he asked.

"Why did you moan out my name?," I asked him angrily.

"It was the heat of the moment.  I wasn't thinking straight," he said.

"Really? You shouldn't have done that."

"Why?  I really like you.  We were making out and now you're mad at me for moaning out your name?"

"I think you should go," I said while not looking at him.  I didn't want to give him a reason why I was mad at him.

"I just want to know why," he said while putting his clothes back on.  I looked at him thinking of an excuse to not make him upset.

"Ok here's the thing I never felt comfortable with guys moaning my name during sex.  They always just called me 'baby' or any other name," I said.

"You know what I think it is.  You're insecure," he said.

"I am not! Why do you say that?"

"Because it's true! You're used to all the pet names and shit because the guys you slept with don't wanna bother learning your name.  But when someone actually gets to know you like I do you just shut down and close yourself off."

"You think it's easy being called a 'slut', 'home wrecker' and other offensive names because of how many guys I slept with? There is a reason why I do quick little flings and no relationships."

"It's not easy for you. I get it.  I think it's because you're afraid of getting hurt," he said.

"Maybe I am." I said "Just go Shawn."

"Fine I'll go.  Do what you always do; push away the only people that care about you," he said while heading towards the door in my room.

"I swear to god just get out of here before my mom sees you," I said while raising my voice at him.

"You know I thought that you were different. Guess I was wrong," he said and walked out of my room.  After he left, I shut the door and pressed my body against it then I just slid down the door and started crying.  I was processing what Shawn said and maybe he was right.  I was insecure and was always closing myself off with other people. When I'm with Shawn he makes me feel like I'm myself with him. He understands me  and he cares about me.  That's when I realized I was in love with him.