Her Bad Reputation (Shawn Mendes)

Chapter 15

Shawn POV

I have been texting and calling Kat multiple times since what happened at her house that day.  Is it wrong that I moaned out her name in the heat of the moment?  Is it wrong that she is the only I think about every day?  Is it wrong for her to accept the fact that I want a relationship with her ?  Is it wrong that she is used to guys just using her for sex?   Those were the thoughts that were running through my mind.  The past few days I tried looking for her during school but she hasn't been showing up to class and I get the feeling that she is avoiding me.  I even asked Alexa if she had seen Kat and she hasn't seen her?

"She hasn't texted you at all?," Justin asked.

"I tried calling her, texting her, and I even asked Alexa if she had seen her," I told him.

"Did anything happen between you guys that night at her house ?"

"We were making out and I moaned out her name in the heat of the moment."

"You guys had and argument, then?"

"Yeah we did and now I think she hates me. I don't blame her.  I mostly blame myself."

"Don't do that, Shawn.  Here's the thing, I've never seen you get so worked up about a girl and I am not going to let you do that now," Justin said.

"Kat is different. She is definitely not like any of the other girls that I had a crush on," I said.

"My advice is to just try talking to her and maybe if you tell her how you feel, she might feel the same way. If she doesn't then you guys can just be friends.  I think why she is acting this way is that she has feelings for you and she doesn't want you to get hurt or she's scared that you won't feel the same way about her," Justin said and I agreed with him. Maybe she's just scared of me not feeling the same way for her and she doesn't want to hurt me.   After class, Justin and I were walking in the hallway and decided to stop by her locker to leave Kat a note saying that I needed to talk to her.

Kat POV

I was ignoring Shawn's texts and calls all week just because I didn't feel like talking to him.  I even avoided coming to school just so I wouldn't have to face him.

I still remember all the texts he gave me:

Hey Kat, I just want to talk to you, can you please respond?

I'm sorry about what happened.  Please just talk to me.

Are you ok?

I'm here for you.  I just want you to know that.  I hate seeing you like this. 

That last text broke me not because it was from Shawn, but the way it was worded.  He knew that I was starting to push him away all because that stupid kiss.  I wanted to admit that I had feelings for him but my heart decided to put up walls that were hard to break down because those walls were protecting me from getting hurt.

I wasn't going to school all week just so I could get my thoughts together and figure out what I should do about my feelings for Shawn.  Alexa was even wondering what was going on with me and why I wasn't coming to class.  I told her that I was sick with a stomach bug.  After a week of not coming to school, I decided to come to school because I was missing a lot of assignments but also for Shawn.  That day when I walked into the hallway I saw Alexa waiting for me at my locker.

"Hey girl, you're alive," she said happily.

"I wish I wasn't," I said sarcastically.

"Shawn was looking for you all week. He was bummed that you didn't come to school."

"Tell me something I don't know," I told her.  The mention of his name made my heart skip a beat because he was actually concerned about my well-being.  This got me thinking about all the times Shawn looked out for me.  The day Addison dumped her iced coffee on me and Shawn helped clean me up then offered his hoodie to me.  When he started beating the shit out of Cody for calling me a "slut".  Those were the moments that made me realize that I had someone looking out for me but also someone who cares.  When I was opening my locker, a small piece of paper fell out of the locker and onto the floor.  I picked it up, unfolded the note, then read what it said:

Meet me at my place after school.  There's something I need to tell you.

- Shawn