What it's like to be human - (Male reader) Book 1

Chapter 10

Btw, I have posted the first chapter of My Wednesday Prologue book on Y/n's past if you want to read that, anyway on with the book!

A neon arrow points the way to the bungalow court motel, Bright and awful ersatz western log cabins of wood surround a tee-pee-shaped office. The Addams' Duesenberg is parked in front of the furthest cabin. The asphalt has been ripped up in big chunks by Lurch to place his tree next to the Addams' new home. 

Morticia has an icepick and a hammer, she deftly makes a large spidery crack in the round mirror. She stands back to admire her handiwork, Granny joins her. "I like it." Granny said patting Morticia consolingly on the back. 

"Just as long as we're together,n'est pas, mon cher?"Morticia said as she turns to Gomez, Gomez sits slumped in a chair. It's as if all of his insane, vibrant energy has been leeched from him. He's a broken man. He looks back at her as if he's never heard French. "Huh?" Wednesday and her mother exchange a worried look. 

Pugsley comes out from the bathroom, gnawing on a wrapped bar of soap. "This place isn't so bad. They even put candy in the bathroom." Pugsley commented, "That's the soap, dear." Morticia corrects him. "Oh..." Pugsley continues to eat the soap. 

Wednesday pats her father's arm. "Do you want a cigar, Father?" only for him to respond "They're very bad for you." Wednesday exchanges a panic-stricken look with Morticia. The family moves closer to Gomez. "But maybe I'll have one of those..." he says as he takes a bar of soap from Pugsley. Gomez unwraps it and morosely eats.

Wednesday then remembers to check on her experiment, Wednesday had taken a sample of Y/n's Blood she wanted to know exactly what he was, But oddly enough his blood came back entirely human... 

In the morning, Morticia addresses the family from the head of the breakfast table. "We are Addamses, and we will not submit. Who recalls the fable of the tortoise and the hare? The swift, yet lazy little cottontail, and his slow but determined companion? What does that story teach us, as Addamses?" Morticia asks. "Kill the hare. Skin it. Boil it." Said Granny, Wednesday raised her hand "Put the tortoise on the highway." "During rush hour," Pugsley added. 

Y/n used a pencil to stab a page of his journal, grinding his teeth and angrily muttering "Die, Pilgrims, die." Wednesday rubbed Y/n's shoulder trying to get him to calm down.  

"Yes! We will survive! Poison us, strangle us, break our bones we will come back for more, and why?" Morticia said  "Because we like it!" said Granny "Because we're Addamses!" Pugsley announced. Gomez tries to rouse himself. "We're Addamses..."  

Wednesday and Pugsley have set up a 'Lemonade' stand outside, for their contribution to the Addams' financial well-being. An array of poisons are lined up on their rickety table. Their prices are a nickel per cup. 

Lurch comes out of the motel courtyard, carrying a sample vacuum cleaner and a bucket. Pugsley offers him a cup of 'punch'. "Here, Lurch. On the house." Lurch downs it in one gulp and heads off. Feeling the effects of the drink, Lurch burps as a tongue of flame shoots from his mouth and incinerates a wooden Indian advertising the Wampum Court.

Then a prissy little girl in a girl scout uniform walks by. The girl scout carries several boxes of GirlScout cookies, with grave doubts, the girl scout asks "Is this made from real lemons?" "Yes." Wednesday responds in her monotone voice. "I only like all-natural foods and beverages. Organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?" the girl scout asks again "Yes." Pugsley said. 

"Well... I tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious girl scout cookies. Do we have a deal?" the girl scout says only for Wednesday to ask "Are they made from real girl scouts?" the girl scout glares at Wednesday, she is about to turn away when Y/n approaches her.

Y/n looks the girl up and down, before chasing her away from Wednesday and Pugsley with a stick he's lit on fire, with the help of matches.  He turns to Wednesday and Pugsley smiling "Pilgrim gone. :D" "Yes, good job." Wednesday tells Y/n before turning to Pugsley.

"Did you give him those matches?" she quietly asks her brother, Pugsley shakes his head.