Behind the Smile | TodoBakuDeku | Book 1

Chapter 12

Bakugo's POV

Gently tracing Shoto's soft, partially parted lips with my thumb, I knew then and there that I couldn't hold back anymore.

Fuck! This isn't the time for this pansy romantic shit...but then again, I want to comfort him and show him I...care about him. I damn well know I have no idea how to say it but–

"Katsuki?" Shoto whispered, as his tearful eyes pierced mine. He very rarely ever called me by my given name and typically when he did, it was to give me some snarky remark. This time was different. There was a tone behind it that I'd never heard before and it fueled the fire within me. I leaned in, our lips nearly grazing one another but before we could make contact, we were abruptly interrupted by loud banging at the door.

"You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me," I said as I slammed the door open. This better be important or I'm gonna blast whatever cock blocker is behind this damn door into the next fuckin' century. "What do you want?!" I growled. My anger dropped almost immediately when I saw Aizawa staring back at me. He looked more worn and paler than usual. What's more concerning was his bloodstained uniform.

"You want to try that again? And when you're done answering the door in an acceptable manner, we need to talk about Midoriya."

Whatever remaining high I was feeling from the situation with Icy Hot had finally worn off. "Sorry," I grumbled, opening the door wider to let him in. He looked to be scanning the room before sinking down on my desk chair. His head hung low and his arms braced his upper body against his knees.

"You look like shit! What the hell happened to you?" I asked before being nudged back by Icy Hot.

"What I think he means is are you okay?" Shoto gave me a slight glare like he was trying to tell me to chill or something.

There was a long and awkward pause before Aizawa finally broke the silence. "What have you three been hiding from me?" There was not anger or malice in his voice, but instead he sounded almost defeated.

Neither one of us knew how to answer that question. As far as the teachers and heroes knew, Deku was handling the quirk just fine, but behind closed doors, it had been a different story. With his other friends, in class, and during training, he just grinned and bore it like he always did with any other problem or injury he faced. But once he got back to his dorm, he shut down. It was a side he would only let Shoto and I see.

We were in a hard spot since we promised the nerd we would keep it to ourselves because he didn't want to burden anyone. What he doesn't realize is that this hiding shit is more of a burden then just telling the truth. I looked to Shoto, asking him what to do without actually saying a word. He just nodded.

"The quirk was doing a lot more damage than he let on," I began. "He might have seemed okay to everyone else, but as you know he is shit at letting anyone else help him. In his dorm, he was...broken. We could barely get him to talk to us and he ate next to nothing. I even tried making him my spicy curry. It was our favorite as kids, but he only had a few bites."

Aizawa pushed himself back up and ran his hand over his face in agitation. "And you two thought it was okay to hide this from me?"

"Mr. Aiz–" Shoto tried to jump in.

"No, you didn't just try to hide this from me. You left your classmate...your friend, alone to deal with a quirk known to drive its victims to suicide?!" Aizawa was raging at this point. I don't think I've ever seen him this angry before.

Suddenly my blood went cold, as his demeanor and the stains on his shirt began to register. It must have for Shoto, too. "Did something happen? We were with him a couple of hours ago. He was getting ready to go to sleep," he said, as tears began to fill the brims of his eyes.

"He nearly died! When you too left him, he..." Aizawa trailed off and slouched into the seat again.

"What did he do?" I demanded coldly.

The silence was deafening until, "Did you know he was cutting himself?" Aizawa asked quietly. It was like a stab to the heart.

How the fuck did we not know? He was wearing those damn hoodies and changing in the bathroom instead of the locker room. There were so many signs. What the actual fuck is wrong with us?

When neither I nor Shoto answered, Aizawa continued. "I didn't think so. Or at least I hoped you didn't know and think you could keep something that detrimental from me."

"Where is he," Shoto asked, no longer holding in the tears again. "Is he okay?"

Aizawa let out an exasperated breath before making his way to where Shoto stood. He placed a hand on the back of Shoto's head before gently pulling him in for a hug. He then pulled Shoto back, keeping both hands on his shoulders. "He'll be okay for now, as long as we work together to keep him safe. It's obvious I was unable to erase the effects of the quirk, so we will just need to find another way. If we–"

"Icy Hot asked where Deku was. Where is he?" I demanded, pain evident in my tone.

Taking in a deep and jagged breath as he turned to face me, "He's with Recovery Girl."

Before he could say another word, I was out the door sprinting towards the infirmary, followed closely behind by Shoto and Aizawa. "You better be okay you damn nerd!"

Third Person POV

The infirmary door slammed open, "Where is he?!" Bakugo demanded. Recovery Girl popped up from behind her desk and gave him a swift kick in the knee. "Hush down, he's resting!"

Bakugo grumbled, before being pulled along by the little old, yet strong, healer.

Stopping in front of a blue curtain, she turned to face the boys and Aizawa. "He has done a number to himself. I honestly don't know how no one noticed sooner."

Bakugo and Todoroki both dropped their heads in defeat and disappointment in themselves. It's one thing to not know when your friend is self-harming, but it's a whole nother feeling of pain when you knew he was possibly suicidal and didn't think to ask or check. Aizawa saw the looks of sorrow and regret on his students' faces and sympathetically placed a hand on each of their heads and ruffled their hair. "Stop that. We have no time for regrets. We need to move on and find a way to save Midoriya," he said.

With that, Recovery Girl slowly pulled back the curtain.