Behind the Smile | TodoBakuDeku | Book 1

Chapter 7

Midoriya's POV

I was so unbelievably tired. I could vaguely hear Kacchan and Todoroki bickering nearby, but didn't have the energy to tell them to quiet down. My head was throbbing and I couldn't get that dream...'Was it a dream?'...out of my mind. It felt so real.

'Was the other me, the Dark Deku, actually there? Was it true? Did I KILL that boy? Did I cut my-'

With what little energy I had, I reached over to slide my fingers under the sleeve of the hospital gown and felt a taught fabric.

'What the hell?'

My eyes sprung open and I saw pink tinted gauze peeking out from under the sleeve. I instantly threw my body fully under the blanket, with only my head peeking out. I wasn't sure if anyone had seen the cuts, but I wasn't about to let others worry. This was something I needed to deal with on my own.

My sudden movements caught the attention of both Kacchan and Todoroki. They sprung over to my bedside and overwhelmed me with questions, wanting to know how I was, if I was feeling okay, if I thought the quirk had any affect on me, if I was having any bad thoughts...

'I refuse to let them worry about me. They have more important things to take care of. I'm not really worth the time, when there are plenty of others out there that need saving.'

I took a deep breath and sat up with a forced smile. "Hey guys, it's great to see you. I'm feeling much better, actually."

'They don't need to know that the color in my world seems three shades darker. They don't need to know that all the bones and muscles in my body ache. They don't need to know that I might be losing my mind. And they DEFINITELY don't need to know that I hurt myself.'

Kacchan and Todoroki looked at each other, with rather unconvinced expressions on their faces. "Look, nerd. You can't hide shit from us, okay?" Kacchan started in a much gentler tone than I've heard from him before. "We all know what this quirk...or attack...or whatever the hell we want to call it does."

Refusing to let my smile fade, I responded as optimistically as possible, "Don't worry Kacchan, I think I was able to fight it off. I didn't feel great at first. Actually, I felt pretty lousy, but I'm feeling much better now."

There was a long and awkward silence before, "Enough."

Both Kacchan and I gave Todoroki a puzzled look. His voice was cold and unforgiving. "Enough with the lies, Midoriya. You're bad at it."

'Shit!'

"I don't know what you're hiding or how bad it is, but you need to tell us what's going on now."

Kacchan took a second to gather his thoughts before jumping in, "You better not be lying, you little idiot!" His words were hurtful, but unmatched by the tone in his voice.

I quickly began to weigh my options. I knew if I gave them absolutely nothing, they would become overbearing every second of every day until I caved.

'If I at least tell them something small, would they back off and focus on preventing it from hurting others? I have to do this strategically.'

"That's right, Deku, but you need to watch what you tell them. Wouldn't want to end up in a psych ward would you!" Dark Deku's voice surrounded the room. I frantically whipped my head around trying to locate where he was lurking, but there was no sign of him.

"Leave me the FUCK alone!" I shouted.

Wide eyed, my friends' mouths dropped. They looked both taken aback and hurt because they thought my aggression was directed towards them. What else could they have assumed, when obviously they couldn't hear the insanity holding my mind captive. "What the fuck, Deku? We're just trying to help!"