Chasing Stars

chapter four * rouf retpahc

Michaels P.O.V

Alex had walked me around the school, telling me who to talk to and who not. Who to avoid and those to all together not even acknowledge their existence. He told me who would hunt me like dogs and tear me apart and who would simply watch like a fly on the wall.

By the end of the day I knew who the weekday warriors were and the kids who had to borrow money, I knew who to leave alone and who to attempt conversation.

Yet I still didn't know Alex.

I didn't know what he liked or why he didn't like it when Cadence called him Bluey, I wanted to know the inner workings of his twisted mind. The first thing that comes to his head when he sees a closed door or a hanging lightbulb.

I had become obsessed with this boy in just a few hours and I wasn't even ashamed.

~*~

"Mum, I'm home" I called looking around in confusion at the living room. It was covered in rainbows- my fucking uke had rainbow ribbons on it. "ugh, MUM WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO" I yelled, walking into the kitchen. Almost tripping over a wad of streamers.

"Oh hey Mikey, how was school" my sister Janice said smiling- she never smiles.

"Okay, what is going on here!" They were starting to get on my nerves, the whole house is covered in rainbows Janice is smiling, what next a pet husky.

Just then mum walked in, wearing fucking rainbows.

"Mikey!" she yelled over enthusiastically, hugging me tightly.

"Mum, WHAT IS THIS, WHY IS THE HOUSE COVERED IN RAINBOWS" I yelled frustrated, I was so confused.

"Well, it's June, and well Junes special for your community, and well we want to say we love you no matter who you love" she said, scratching her head awkwardly.

"What community mum!? What is going on here!" I didn't get it, what are they on about, I'm normal... I think I'm normal. "Mum, what do you mean?" At that mum scratched her head glancing at the floor.

"Well... The uhm old school called.. And told us why you got kicked out, you yelled you were gay in a debate, and well christian school... Mikey?" she scratched her head glancing at me, "Are you really gay..?" she seemed to be confused.

I sighed and scratched my head "okay mum, yeah I'm gay, I yelled at the opponent, the teacher dragged me to the religious guidance and well they said I couldn't attend. So I didn't want to tell you, I thought you would've like disowned me or something. I- I'm sorry, I just, I just can't with girls I just don't click it doesn't work they just don't interest me I'm sorry mum." She stood there wide eyed before crushing me in a hug, almost suffocating me with the smell of her bed bath and beyond perfume. She had a smile on her face that could probably be seen from outer space.

"Mikey, its fine. Hell I don't care who you date, just for gods sake be happy." she stood with tears glazing her eyes, a smile causing her face to have creases. "Please, never fall back into those habits" she said shaking her head. That hit home. Last year I'd fallen into a spiral of depression, began smoking, dragging blades across my skin and chasing highs in order to forget about the sadness and fear of not being accepted, almost dying from the pills and the smoke.

I'm never going back there. I moved to get away from that, away from the memories of the people I used to be with. This life is going to be full of wonder, and hope. Never will I fall in the pit again. I want to be able to wake up and smile, happy I'm alive today and looking forward to what comes with school. I want my life to be filled with people sweet, like cherry wine. Gone with the addictive habits and bloodshot eyes.

We sat on the porch and watched as rain slid down the footpath, Janice sat and stared at a tree, her eyes flickering around nervously. "Janny...?" I asked licking my lips, "Do you know about the thing?"

She looked over, confused. "What thing Mikey?"

"Uhm... The.. The uh, didyouknowiwasgay!" I blurted it out and covered my face ashamed of myself. No one likes someone who can't even be normal.

Janice patted my back and smiled at me "no- I didn't but it's completely fine"

~*~