Not made for me - Minsung

Chapter 12

TW

Jisung woke up slowly, feeling a warm body sticking to him. Jisung smiled, nuzzling his face in the body's neck and scenting it, that sweet scent filling his nose. Jisung smiled in contentment, feeling more comfy than ever.

But then, he realized.

He sat up, stressing as he saw that he was in Minho's bed.

"Fuck" Jisung muttered

"Are you okay?" Minho jolted up at the sound, checking on the boy

"I fell asleep" Jisung said, his voice monotone

"You did, it's okay" Minho said as he caressed Jisung's arm

Jisung stayed like that, sat in the bed and stared at nothing, for a few minutes. Minho was getting worried.

"Do you need something? A cup of water?" Minho asked, his voice low

"No" Jisung said as he got out of bed "I need to go" He said, coldness coming out of his voice.

Minho gulped, he had a strange feeling in his stomach that he couldn't describe.

Jisung was stressed, he started searching frantically for his clothes, wanting to run away as quickly as possible.

"Where the fuck are they" Jisung said to himself, getting annoyed.

"Oh sorry" Minho said as he jumped out of bed, running to his dresser "I've just put them here so it wouldn't be laying on the ground for the whole night" Minho explained as he gave the boy his clothes.

Jisung muttered a small 'thanks', putting his clothes on and never crossing Minho's eyes. Minho was watching him, not really knowing how he should act. He knew that Jisung wasn't the most stable person, he had guessed it, but it was the first time he actually saw it. 

The second Jisung was clothed, he dared to look at Minho for a split second.

"See you" Jisung said, as he ran to the door, closing it behind him and running to his house.

Minho didn't even have the time to react that Jisung was already out. He stood there and sighed, feeling his chest tightening strangely.

Arriving at his house, the first thing Jisung did was run to his pills, taking them eagerly.

He sat down, knowing he was going to go through a breakdown.

The voices, the flashbacks, they were even louder now.

'That pretty boy, what are you expecting from him?'

'He wouldn't care about someone like you Jisung, you're not made for him and you know it'

'He would hate you if he saw the real you'

'Jisung, don't be stupid. Love is not made for you. Burn this feelings'

"Burn it" Jisung said to himself, punching his own leg as he tried to block the voices.

Two weeks after the incident, Jisung has been completely avoiding and ignoring Minho.

He answered none of his texts, none of the messages he left for him on the groupchat, no calls, nothing. He did as if Minho simply never existed, he stopped talking about him, didn't answer his friends when they talked about him. Jisung was burning his image from his life.

It could have stayed like that, if he didn't meet Minho on the streets, by chance.

Minho widened his eyes as he saw the boy he had been dying to hear from, he ran to him, calling his name.

"Jisung!" Minho called. Jisung froze at the voice, he knew that voice, he didn't want to hear it now.

Minho arrived in front of him, looking like a deer in daylight

"My god Jisung, are you okay?" Minho said, as if his life was falling down. "Why aren't you answering?" Minho asked again, he was frantic. Jisung couldn't answer, his throat was tightening.

"Is something wrong?" Minho asked again, concern emanating from his voice.

Jisung didn't want to break down right now, but he couldn't stop it as he felt Minho's sweet skin holding his hand. He jolted back, tearing his hand from him.

"Leave me alone" Jisung yelled, on the verge of breaking down "Stop" He added, his eyes showing pure exhaustion.

Minho was stunned. He wasn't expecting any of that. His heart broke in half at the moment, falling to the ground and staying there. He looked deeply into Jisung's eyes, asking himself were he fucked up. He was silent for a few seconds, gathering his consciousness back.

"I'm sorry" Minho said, as the most devastated smile appeared on his face. He was trying so hard to not cry right now, his eyes already shining as he said these words.

He left, leaving Jisung alone as he asked, also leaving his heart there.

Jisung was shaking.

He let out a sob, as he ran to his house, wanting to run to his bed and bury himself in the covers.

As he arrived there, he fell to the ground, sobbing.

His body was aching everywhere, his mind spiraling.

The voices, they were eating him alive. He was tired of it.

He ran to his bathroom, throwing water to his face but to no avail.

He just saw the depressing reflection of his own self in the mirror. His poor mind recreating his horrendous parents by his side, laughing at him, insulting him.

He yelled, he yelled as loud as he could, his punch impulsatingly being thrown to it, breaking the mirror in small pieces that flew around the bathroom.

He cried, the pain on his hand not relieving anything, the blood running in his arm burning him.

He took his phone, dialing Chan's number and calling it.

'Jisung?' Chan asked as he heard a sob

'Jisung? What happened' He said, as he panicked at the sound

'Channie' Jisung's broken voice resonated 'Can you come help me' Jisung asked, voice not above a whisper.

'I'm coming' Chan said, running to the boy's house.

For the rest of the day, Chan took care of the younger. Calming his sobs, treating his wound, cleaning his bathroom. He helped him, engulfed him in a hug and let the boy cry himself to sleep. He tried so hard but couldn't understand what made Jisung in that situation.