Imperfect (Disappeared #1)

Chapter Nine

The two of them clambered back down the ladder carefully. Ahuil went first to make sure she didn't slip, though Theodosia didn't see how he could to do anything except break her fall. 

On the ground, it was quiet and a gentle mist hung in the air. Theodosia felt slightly chilled and glad she had her coat and bonnet. Patches of quivering light still reached the forest floor despite the ever-present mist. 

Ahuil convinced her to have some breakfast before they set off. She sat on a cushion and looked about in wonder at the plush grass, the tiny clusters of mushrooms, and the ants working their way methodically along the ground. Gigantic oak trees soared overhead, their broad green leaves trembling in the breeze.

She leaned against the trunk and watched as Ahuil made a fire in a rock enclosure nearby and filled a pot with grains and water from a clay jar.

"Why do you live alone?" she asked. "I ask because, well, it seems a bit unsafe considering the circumstances. And lonely, too."

He looked at her briefly as he stirred the pot with a long-handled wooden spoon. "First off, I can take care of myself. I don't jump at fireflies like you, Theo."

She scowled at him. "I wasn't afraid of them."

"Second, I like to live by my own rules. Though that can make things a lot more difficult. In the settlement, they have security and communal meals. People trade help and goods. I have to rely on myself most of the time — wash my clothes, hunt for food, and watch out for half-beasts. I love being close to nature, but sometimes I almost go out of my mind with loneliness." He sighed and shrugged. "I guess that's the trade-off for freedom."

"Maybe you should get married," she blurted.

Ahuil tasted the porridge from the spoon. "What's that?"

 "Living with another person by law for the rest of your life. Um, in a romantic sense. Well, not always so romantically. Sometimes, it's just convenient in terms of social status or wealth."

He considered this. "Nope, we don't have that."

Scandalized, Theodosia remained silent. What kind of insanity had she stumbled into? Meanwhile, Ahuil was grinning at her openly. "You think that strange. Well, I think you strange, with your marriage and your strict sleeping arrangements."

"No matter," Theodosia said, sighing. "I suppose I can't expect everyone to act like the English. Nor should they, for I don't even want to live there most days." She paused. "What year is it here?"

"500."

She gawked at him. "It's 1813 in England. Wait, have I traveled back in time? No, it's impossible. Our world could never have been like this." She shook her head. "I feel as if my head is going to split open."

He smiled at her in a way that made her feel a little weak at the pit of her stomach. "Don't overthink it for now. I think it's safe to say you've landed somewhere completely different."

He ladled the steaming porridge into wooden bowls, brought them over, and topped them with nuts and berries from a sack. She sipped at it. It was warm and creamy like oat porridge but nuttier and sweeter. Immediately she felt calmer. Eating always made her feel like new.

"Do you have family?" she asked.

 "I do, my two older brothers, Yaretzi and Cualli. They live in the central settlement. My parents passed away a few years ago." He looked away. "Many people died from the illness they had."

 "I'm so sorry to hear that. I didn't mean to lead you into such a painful topic."

He smiled at her quickly. "Don't worry, you didn't know. There isn't much in this forest that doesn't happen for a reason. This world has certain ways of regulating itself that might seem unnecessary or sad to those living in it. But we try to be wise and remind ourselves that not everything is done for the individual's benefit but for a greater purpose." He sighed. "Of course, when I was thirteen and my parents had just passed away, I didn't see it that way. How could I?"

Theodosia put down her bowl and instinctively reached for his hand. It was warm and calloused and she squeezed it gently. He looked so sad. He turned to her, surprise written on his face.

"You're touching me! Is this what I had to do, confess my sad past? I wish I had known that earlier." The golden eyes glinted with amusement.

She snatched her hand away. "Never mind, Ahuil! You're impossible. I'm sorry, I felt bad for you."

He smiled softly. "Ah, Theo, it was many years ago. I've made my peace with it. All I can do is keep remembering and loving them in my heart. You just made me remember for a moment how sad I was back then. Now you just look angry. Am I so terrible?"

"I've finished my breakfast," Theodosia shot back. "Perhaps we should be getting on our way?" 

Ahuil sighed as if mortally offended and gathered up the bowls. He shared some water with her from a hide bag and they set off down a path. He walked ahead in the crumpled linens he had worn the day before. His long wavy hair begged for a comb, yet he didn't look the least bit self-conscious. He walked along, tall and confident, his eyes sweeping the woods like an animal on alert.

At first, Theodosia enjoyed the silence, as she was still steaming from his teasing. Finally, curiosity got the better of her. "Are there many of you here?"

He looked back at her briefly. "Not so many, I suppose, though I don't have basis for comparison. This place isn't very big."

He held back a branch for her and she ducked under. "What isn't big? The forest?"

"No, this world. At the edges it just dissolves into mist. You can't really see it but there's a part where the edges get almost, well, smoky. And if you try to walk through them you realize you're walking in place in the same spot. You can't press through."

Theodosia raised her skirts to step over a root that reared up over the path. "How are you not overcrowded if you have only this small place to live in?"

"Most of the women can't have children. I think this world has its own ways to stay balanced, even if they're hard to take. Just like with the sickness that took my parents. And maybe with these half-beasts."

They were silent for a moment as she took this in. Ahuil took her hand to help her over a fallen tree. As she clambered over, his honey eyes looked at her with something like an apology. In that moment, she was sorry she had gotten so angry with him. She knew it was because his teasing made her flustered. And her natural reaction whenever she felt uncomfortable was to lash back, as she did with her siblings. Theodosia promised herself she would be fairer to Ahuil. He had been only kind to her thus far. The problem was that she didn't know how to act around him, since her usual response to men was distain. Lowering her guard was going to be difficult.

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Isn't our usual response to men always distain? Is there any other way?

You can find me at bronwynkienapple.com where I regularly burn men at the stake.