Imperfect (Disappeared #1)

Chapter Thirty-Two

The fog swept in laterally, not even from the bank of mist at their left but from straight ahead of them. There was a shout from the party.

"Head for the Great Tree," yelled Ahuil.

No one needed to be told twice. They tore off through the woods, keeping together as they had been trained to do, but panicked still. Theodosia's heart pounded with terror. Even worse, she was exhausted and could barely run. Still, the mist gained ground as if pursing them.

Adrenaline seemed to be helping the search party, but the forest's dense underbrush impeded their way. Theodosia wasn't used to navigating the woods at top speed. She knew she was slowing Ahuil down and she hated it.

Ahead, she saw a giant hollowed-out tree. The branches were draped in great trumpet-shaped white flowers. Ahuil and his brothers made sure everyone got inside the massive hollow. The mist was now rushing toward them like wind in a tunnel. Yaretzi and Cualli pushed Ahuil and Theodosia in. Ahuil reached out to pull in his brothers, but the mist reached out, grabbed the two, and swallowed them.

There was utter silence in the hollow. The mist hovered outside the tree for a moment, seemed to try to push at it, and then drifted back, gradually dissipating as it went.

The brothers were gone.

Ahuil leapt out, wrenching his hand from Theodosia's, even as the others pleaded with him to stay. He roamed about, desperately calling his brothers' names. When the rest saw that the mist did not return, they too emerged from the tree. They did not hunt for the brothers as Ahuil did. They knew Yaretzi and Cualli were gone.

Finally, Ahuil crumpled down and put his face in his hands. A few members of the search party kneeled by him. He began to cry unapologetically, as if his heart had been completely broken. Theodosia, who had been watching this scene in utter shock, ran to him and tried to put her arms around him. He pushed her off and walked away, still weeping.

When he had recovered enough to walk, they all unsteadily made their way back to the settlement. It quickly became dark and the trees became slender, withered shadows. Theodosia trailed Ahuil, anxious to say something, anything, to comfort him. But from the look on his face, she saw that the last thing he wanted was to talk to her.

They finally reached the settlement and people flooded out to greet them. Word of Yaretzi's and Cualli's disappearance spread quickly. Those who wailed filled the air with sorrow. The settlement was heavy with grief that night, and no one, save a few children too young to know what was happening, seemed untouched by the event.

Theodosia had eyes only for Ahuil. He was inconsolable and looked like a mere shell of his former self. His face was gaunt and his eyes staring, as if tormented by some inner demon. They went into the hall to eat. Theodosia was determined to draw him out, but he avoided her glance, refused to respond to her words, and shrugged off her touch.

"Please, let's go to bed," she whispered. "You're in shock. You need to sleep."

He only glared at her narrowly. "You go. I want to be alone."

And so she clambered into their bed without him. Thoughts of home, of Ahuil, and of Louisa clambered for attention but her body would have none of it. Every fiber in her screamed for sleep and roughly pushed aside anything else. Within minutes she was unconscious.

Theodosia awoke groggy and confused the next morning. She grasped for Ahuil but he wasn't there. She sat up promptly, alarmed. Thin rays of sunshine crept through the glossy oak leaves. She watched them wave gently in the breeze for a moment. She had to speak to Ahuil immediately. She changed into her sage dress, combed out her hair as best she could, and went down in search of him.

He was there, standing by the stream and gazing into the forest. He was still in the same clothes as he had worn the previous day. His shoulders were hunched forward with exhaustion and he had deep purple shadows under his eyes, which were red and heavily veined.

"Talk to me," she said softly.

He turned around and looked at her as if he had never seen her before. "You shouldn't be here, Theo. This is not your world. It's not your burden to take on."

She took a deep breath and tried to hold his gaze. "I chose it because of you. Is that so wrong? I want to be with you, to help you if I can. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be feeling..."

"Exactly," he exploded. "You don't know. Go back to your life of privilege. You'll only get in the way here. I would have to try to protect you, and I can't. As was made obvious last night." He turned away. "Do you want me to have the death of my brothers and yours hanging over my head? And anyway, there's nothing here for you. I'll disappear soon enough along with everything else."

Theodosia stared at his back, fists clenched. She wanted to tell him he was wrong. That it would be worth it for her to stay until the very end. And yet, was that really true? She didn't know if she was prepared to watch him fade away, powerless to do anything.

His face was turned from her. He stared into the forest as if waiting for his brothers to reappear. Theodosia's heart turned over painfully. She felt for him deeply. Still, she had given up her entire life to be with him and his people, knowing the danger it implied and uncertain of his affection. She had cast off a life of comfort and privilege. She knew some of what he had said was because his grief was so fresh. Still, she had to make her position known gently but firmly.

Theodosia stood in front of him and tipped her chin up. His stubbled jaw was set in anger. "Look at me, Ahuil. I know you suffer. Yet I've left my family, my future, and everything I know to be here. I am completely aware of the danger I'm in, yet I'm prepared to stay by your side, even if it's just to comfort you. You need a friend now and I believe I can be that to you. If you don't think that's worth anything, I will return immediately."

He looked into her eyes but said nothing. His gaze held nothing but hardness. There was no tenderness there. She forced herself to look away from that brutal stare as her heart squeezed painfully in her chest.

"Fine," she said in a broken voice. "You have an hour to let me know my fate. If you still have nothing to say, I'll be gone."

He smirked at her and turned away again. "Go then, Theodosia. That's what I have to say. Go and be gone with you. We have no use for you here. I have no use for you here. Take your things and return."

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