~Jesselin~
Jaeson's face was so easy to read. He was pissed.
"Why?" Was all he could ask.
I stormed into my room, indicating that he should follow. He did, slamming the door behind him.
"Why." He repeated.
"Because you hurt me!" I shouted. "And I know it wasn't just your fault. I know I was being a bitch. But, look at me now! Look at you now! You're fucking fantastic, and I have a drinking problem! Can you see why now? Do you see why I lied? It was to protect myself! And I didn't completely lie. I let you consume my whole being until I was nothing but an empty shell! I cried so many nights over you! I cut myself just for you! I starved myself just for you! It was all for you!" By now, hot, angry tears were running down my cheeks, and my hands were balled into fists. I was shaking with anger and vulnerability. Jaeson just stood there, taking in everything I had just shouted at him.
"Did you ever think about how I felt? Huh? Did you? I felt like shit! You never let me in! How could I help you, how could I love you, if you wouldn't talk to me? Huh?" He screamed.
"I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FUCKING COMMUNICATE! ME CURSING YOU OUT AT ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT WAS ME BEGGING FOR HELP! YOU JUST LEFT ME!" I screamed. This was too much for me to deal with. The tears kept coming.
"THEN YOU FUCKING TRY!" He shouted, losing his temper. "YOU TELL ME YOU NEED HELP AND I'LL BE THERE! OR I WOULD HAVE BEEN!"
"YEAH, WHEN YOU WERE PRETENDING TO LOVE ME!"
"I NEVER PRETENDED!" Jaeson screamed. He looked like he was about to punch a wall.
"Go." I said through gritted teeth. "Go. Get out of my room."
He didn't move. I took a step closer to him. "Get out! GET OUT!" I was sobbing at this point. I angrily wiped my tears away.
"Jess, I-"
"No." I interrupted. "Get out of here! That is the past! You might not have pretended in the past, but you stopped. I never did. So get out, now. NOW."
He gave me a cold glare. "Then get over it. Stop loving me."
"If I could I would!" I spat. "It's been eating me up inside for five years. You just can't stop loving someone when you love them as much as I love you. Now get out of my room. I have a date out there that's waiting for me. Maybe, in the future I can love him, and maybe this time he'll love me back and won't stop fighting for me. Because, you just aren't the fighting type are you?"
He glared at me again before storming out of my room and slamming the door. I heard him walk into the living room with Ashlyn to watch tv.
I walked out probably looking like hell.
"Love, you should rest. Maybe I should come back tomorrow." Matt said quietly.
"No!" I said quickly. "Don't go. Please?" He nodded and hugged me, making me cry more.
"Come," he said taking me by the hand and leading me to my room. "You need a few minutes to recompose yourself." He left me in my room, and I managed to stop crying for the most part by convincing myself this was all a dream. Finally, Matt returned with a cup of tea.
"Here love," he said, handing me the cup. I gave him a small, watery smile before taking a sip and setting the cup down on my night stand.
"Are you alright?" He asked me.
