Fat Girl Problems

Fat Girl Problem 12: Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was one of those holidays that I did and didn't look forward to. It was a holiday of feasts and joy, but that meant I'd be gaining a few pounds from the ginormous meals. That was something I wanted to avoid, but I knew that wouldn't work out. I honestly didn't have much self-control when it came to the food at these feasts.

Right now I was at home reading. It was a holiday, which meant no school. Surprisingly, I wasn't really pleased with that. Thanks to Connor I received a few compliments lately - mostly from girls. They seemed to like my clothes a lot and that made me happy. It was nice receiving nice comments for once.

Suddenly I heard the doorbell ring, so I got up. Dad and Tim - my little brother - were spending their holiday at mom's place, so I was all alone. I wasn't mom's biggest fan, so I didn't go. She was pretty rude to me and dad when she lived with us. I never understood why dad still loved her anyways.

I went downstairs to the door. I was thankful I was wearing the red dress Connor picked out. A part of me hoped it would be one of my friends. Turns out it kind of was.

"Hi," I said awkwardly.

"Hi."

Connor half-smiled as he stared at me. His hands were shoved into his pockets and he looked surprisingly uncomfortable. I wondered what he wanted.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Can I come in?"

I nodded and led him in. He seemed to relax a bit as soon as he sat on my couch. I studied him curiously. This was a side of him I'd never seen.

"Is you dad home?" he suddenly asked.

I shook my head. "No, he went out."

Connor seemed to regain his uncomfortable feelings since he stiffened. I felt guilty, even though I didn't do anything. It was unusual for him to act like this.

"Can I stay over anyways?" Connor asked awkwardly.

My eyes widened in surprise. He wants to spend Thanksgiving with me? Whoa.

"Sure," I said casually. "I don't mind."

With that, Connor completely relaxed. It seemed like he deflated as he relaxed into the couch. I continued to study him curiously. This was really weird to me.

"So, let's makes a feast," Connor said, looking me in the eye.

I stiffened. That was the exact thing I wanted to avoid even though it sounded so good. I wanted to lose weight, so I knew it would be wrong to eat a feast. But despite that, I agreed.

Together we went to my kitchen and grabbed the first feast-like ingredients we saw; a chicken, veggies, and bread. Dad didn't buy the typical ingredients because he knew I didn't want to eat this year. Now I regretted telling him that.

Connor and I began to cook. It started off as a silent and awkward task, but the ice soon broke between us. We began to debate on world issues which was quite fascinating. Connor was stubborn, but the way he saw things was so deep. It was kind of attractive too.

As we waited for the food to cook, we sat at the dining table. We weren't talking at the moment, mainly because we were trying to process the previous conversations. Although, I was beginning to wonder other things.

Even though Connor and I knew each other for a little more then two months now, I actually didn't know much about him. Like, I had no clue if he had siblings or pets. It also didn't seem like he knew much about me either, so I tried to initiate a conversation.

"Not that I'm complaining, but won't your family miss you at home?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No, they won't."

For a few seconds things remained silent. Connor just stared at table in front him and I watched him. He looked innocent again, which wasn't something I often saw for myself.

Eventually he asked, "Where's you dad?"

"He's at my mom's place with my little brother," I replied. "Do you have any siblings?"

His face crumbled for a second as he quickly looked down. I nearly jumped in surprise. Oh my god. My heart ached from the sight, so I tried to reach out for him, but then he suddenly looked up. He wasn't sad anyone, he was furious. I gulped. Oh no.

"What's up with these questions?" he snapped.

"Sorry," I quickly apologized.

The timer for the over went off, and I rushed to it. I needed to get away from this angry Connor. He was terrifying me as usual.

Sighing, I took out the food from the oven. It looked good and I wished I could tell him that, but after what happened things were just going to be awkward. I hated how we rarely had days that didn't include his fury.

"Quinn."

I flinched and nearly dropped the chicken I held in my hands. Turning around, I saw Connor staring at me with softened eyes. He looked guilty.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I don't have any siblings."

"It's okay."

I wanted to prod him about why the question bothered him, but I knew better than to do that. If Connor wanted to tell me then he would have. I couldn't help but feel slightly upset that he didn't want to. I ignored those feelings though.

Together we set the food on the table. After grabbing the appropriate untensils we dug in. I tried eating slowly and more lady-like, but that was hard. Connor sure knew how to season the food. It was the best I've ever had.

"This is delicious," I complimented.

"Thanks," he said. "You helped."

"Yeah, but without your seasonings it would of tasted...not so great."

He half-smiled, and then his eyes suddenly shifted from my eyes to my cheek. His eyes seemed to twinkle as he looked there.

"You have something there," he said.

"Oh."

Before I could wipe it off, he leaned over the table and began rubbing the spot with his thumb gently. I stared at him, only to see that he was looking at my eyes already. Blush filled my cheeks and my heartbeat quickened.

"It's not coming off," he commented.

I didn't reply, I was too in shock. He was so gentle and his eyes were surprisingly warm. They looked like an endless pool of chocolate again. For some reason all of this was giving me a heart attack, so I pulled away.

"I'll get it," I muttered awkwardly.

Connor instantly went back to his seat. He didn't seem affected by the situation, unlike me. On the inside I felt oddly sick, like I would throw up from my rapid heartbeat.

After I wiped my cheek, Connor said, "Thanks for letting me spend Thanksgiving with you."

My eyes widened in surprise. He was thanking me?

"Oh, you're welcome," I replied awkwardly. "Thanks for coming over."

Connor smiled and I was caught off guard as usual. He really needed to smile more often. If he did, the world would be at his feet.

After we finished eating and cleaning, Connor had to leave. Surprisingly, I was sad that he had to leave. Usually thanksgiving weren't like this for me, so I was grateful of him. Somehow I wanted to repay him for everything.

Before he left, he said, "We're still working on your confidence, okay?"

"Okay," I said, waving goodbye as he walked away.

It was funny how by chance I met a guy who wouldn't treat me differently because of my size. It was nice, really nice.