Fat Girl Problems

Fat Girl Problem 5: Boys

Boys. They were so darn cute, but they tended to be jerks. Unlike us girls, they didn't seem to understand that people had feelings. Which meant they'd say anything on their mind despite the possibility of it being offensive. That led to many guys pointing out my weight one way of another through my life. Never a pleasant thing.

That wasn't the problem right now though, since I was kind of accustomed to it. Boys never gave me much attention since there were always skinnier and prettier girls they could go after. That meant the only guys who did go after me were desperate or just looking for sex. Which was why I was suspicious of Connor.

As usual, I was sitting in my English class before school actually started. Connor was also here, so I was eyeing him suspiciously. I didn't understand. He wanted to protect me, but the question was why. Why in the world would he want to protect the new fat girl. He didn't look like a geniunely nice guy either.

After a bit, he seemed to notice that I was studying him. His eyes drifted to where I sat and a small smirk grew on his face. I shuddered. He was definitely not a nice guy.

"Are you scared of me?" he suddenly asked.

My eyes widened in surprise. I couldn't believe it, he could tell. My cheeks turned red as I shook my head vigorously.

"Liar," he said, closing his eyes briefly. "I won't hurt you."

"Why?" I asked.

"Cause I don't go around beating up random girls?"

"No, why are you helping me?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I don't know."

His eyes closed again. He looked tired, exhausted of everything actually. If he were my friend I would of petted him, even if that sounded weird.

Despite the fact that he seemed tired, I suddenly felt angry at him. No one does anything just for no reason, especially something like this. He did know why, he was just being annoying.

Before I knew it, I blurted out, "You do know!"

His eyes flew open and he stared at me curiously. A smirk formed on his face.

"Feisty aren't we?"

I blushed and turned around. I was done with this conversation. If he wasn't going to speak, I wasn't going to try. That was the type of person I was.

"It's because you remind me of somone I used to know," he suddenly said. "End of story."

I looked over at him to see that he was closing his eyes again. Interesting. I reminded him of somone he used to know. The new question was: who and why that mattered?

I watched as Cece stared off into the distance. She was throughly thinking about what I told her about Connor. From what I could tell, she didn't understand the situation either. That frustrated me. She was genius, so if she didn't know then who did.

Eventually Cece said, "I really don't know Quinn. I barely knew Connor before, but he always came off as an asshole. It's kind of weird seeing that he has a nice side."

"Yeah." I sighed tiredly.

Whatever. His intentions were his own. Even if they did involve me, I wouldn't allow them to get to me. If he wanted to protect me then so be it.

"Well you're lucky. He's pretty cute," she said.

I stared at her blankly. He was?

She laughed. "Come on, up close it's so obvious. If he wasn't so scary every girl would be chasing after him."

Frowning, I remembered the day I met him. I actually did find him attractive, but I forgot about that because of how scary he came off as. Whoa. Cece was right. If he wasn't so scary every girl would be chasing after him. Not me of course. Cute guys were never good news.

"Do you think I can trust him?" I suddenly asked.

Cece studied me and I blushed. She already pointed out kindly that I was quite insecure, so she wanted to help me. In her eyes I was apparently pretty, but I didn't see it. It was a fact, I wasn't conventionally attractive.

"Yeah, so far he's been helping you," she replied.

I snorted, but then I realized it was true. He did help me a lot so far, and I appreciated it. But, I still couldn't help but wonder why. Guys never paid attention to me. So why would this scary attractive one pay any?

I sighed tiredly again. "Guys don't pay attention to me, so why is he?"

"Sweetheart, guys can smell insecurities without trying. Guys know how hard those girls are, so they tend to stay away from them," she replied.

I frowned. That did and didn't make sense. It was because of them I was so insecure in the first place.

Sensing my thoughts, Cece said, "You know you're not fat. You're just chubby, but it's cute. Plus you're pretty."

I looked away. I didn't believe her, I would never either. My entire life I felt ugly and fat. Apparently I was from what many guys and girls have told me. It was just who I was and there was nothing I could do. This was the life I was given.

School was finished and I was grabbing my homework out of my locker. Suddenly I felt someone tap my shoulder and I flinched. Slowly, I turned around to face a boy who looked like he belonged to the football team.

He flashed me a grin. "Hey, Quinn right?"

"Yeah," I replied cautiously.

"You're cute," he said smirking.

I ignored him after that. Guys didn't find me cute, I knew that. So whenever a guy did I knew it was bad news. Some sort of joke to them. He was probably like the guy from yesterday.

"Do you want to come to my place, so we can have fun?" He winked.

My cheeks turned red. I was right and I hated it. I hated how guys thought just because I was fat, I was desperate. That was not true. I would never sleep with a guy I just met. Never. I really wanted to scream that at him, but I didn't. As usual I was gutless.

"So, is that a yes?" he asked.

I looked at him only to see his eyes widen in fear. He actually began shaking in fear, which left me confused. What is going on?

"Sorry, I was joking, I didn't mean it," he quickly said.

He then ran off, leaving me even more confused. What the hell? Then I got an idea.

"Why don't you stand up for yourself?"

I turned around to see Connor glaring at me. His question came off more demanding, so now I was scared. Would he hurt me now?

"I-I don't know," I stammered.

He rolled his eyes. "I can't always protect you."

I looked away embarrassed. I didn't understand him. He was the one who chose to protect me.

"I never asked you to," I replied softly.

I didn't look back at him because I knew I'd just see a terrifying fury in his eyes. However, I heard footsteps walk away, so I looked up and saw that Connor had left. I began to wonder if I messed up my only shot at a good year.