Fat Girl Problems

Fat Girl Problem 25: Love

Thea groaned as we walked past a couple making out in the hallways. I felt disturbed by them too, but not for the same reason as Thea. When it came to public displays of affection, I was totally inexperienced.

"This sucks. I'm forever alone and Valentine's Day is in a week," Thea said sadly.

"You have me," Cece teased.

Thea rolled her eyes. "I'm serious Cece. I always have a date on Valentine's Day. This is going to be a first."

"Don't worry. Some guy will ask you out by then," I said, trying to comfort her.

"But I only want Connor," she whined.

I sighed lightly. Thea was still not over Connor and it was driving me insane. Connor and I weren't on speaking terms, so I felt uncomfortable every time his name appeared. Honestly, I kind of missed him too.

"Let's forget about boys," Cece said, holding the door that led outside open for us.

"Quinn can't. She has Brad," Thea grumbled.

Heat filled my cheeks. Brad. I totally forgot about his existence lately. He probably felt neglected. Oh man.

"What are you planning on doing on Valentine's Day with Brad?" Cece suddenly asked.

I shrugged awkwardly. "I don't know."

They both gaped at me with wide eyes and dropped jaws. I stared at the both of them confused. Why is this so surprising?

"You guys haven't planned anything?" Thea asked shocked.

I shook my head. "No, nothing at all."

"Brad is such a horrible boyfriend!" Thea suddenly exclaimed. "How could he not plan anything at all on Valentine's Day."

I frowned, confused by the current situation. Honestly, I couldn't care less that he hadn't planned anything. The fact that I actually had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day was good enough for me. This was a first for me and I couldn't be more satisfied, even though my feelings for Brad were still complicated.

We finally reached our usual hang out spot during lunch. We all sat down on the grass and pulled out our lunches. Thea was still in shock, but Cece was now fine. That made me feel better because I wasn't sure if I should start to care since it was apparently a big deal.

"How are things with Brad?" Cece suddenly asked, stabbing her fork into her pasta. "You haven't talked about him lately. Actually, you never talk about him."

Blushed filled my cheeks. She was completely right. Now it was time for me to confess.

"Are you guys ever unsure of how you feel towards the guy you're with?" I asked nervously.

"No, why would I date a guy if I wasn't sure about how I felt about him?" Thea responded.

That made my cheeks gain more blush. Suddenly I felt bad. In a way I was leading him on, but it wasn't my fault. I was just confused and I didn't even know why.

"Yeah, I have," Cece said. "Sometimes you think you like someone when you don't. Do you feel that way Quinn?"

I sighed. "I honestly don't know. Like Brad is perfect, he's everything a girl would want. But I honestly don't feel ecstatic over him. It's like he's just some guy."

Thea's eyes softened. "Okay, I understand that. Some people say that it's because that person isn't right for you."

"But Brad should be right for me. He's the only guy who'll ever like me!" I suddenly exclaimed.

Cece suddenly raised an eyebrow at me. "Is that why you're with Brad?"

My jaw dropped as my blush returned to me. "No! That's not why!"

Cece and Thea didn't look convinced, causing my embarrassment to increase. A part of me thought they could be right. Maybe I was settling for Brad. I knew no guy would ever like me again, so maybe that was why I stuck with him. He was my only chance at love.

I sighed tiredly. "I don't know guys. I'm pretty sure I like him though, my feelings just aren't that strong."

"Maybe you need to spend more time with him?" Thea offered.

"Maybe," I replied. "I'll try to talk to him tomorrow if he hasn't made plans for us."

"Good," Thea said smiling. "Lucky for you it's a weekend. You guys can go out and everything."

I smiled. "Yeah."

We ate in silence for a bit and I found myself slightly at peace with myself. Now I knew I could fix this between Brad and I. All I had to do was spend more time with him. With that, my feelings for him would evolve and we would live happily ever after. That would be perfect.

"Did you really love Connor?" Cece suddenly asked Thea.

"Yeah, I still do," Thea said, smiling sadly.

"How do you know if you're in love?" I asked curiously.

"Well, just being with him makes me happy. I can't keep my eyes off of him and every time I'm near him I get a butterflies and I just love everything about him," she gushed.

I smiled at her. That was so cute and I felt terrible for her. Connor was really missing out on a girl who truly loved him. I wondered if he ever regretted his decision. Thinking about the last time we talked, I had a bad feeling he didn't.

"Whoever he likes is probably a slut," Thea suddenly said. "She probably seduced him into liking her."

"Or maybe she's a really amazing girl," Cece retorted.

"You're standing up for her?" Thea asked shocked.

Cece shrugged. "You don't even know the girl."

Thea sighed. "I don't care. She took my man and I hate her for doing that."

I stared at Thea sympathetically. A part of me disliked the girl too. Thea was my friend, a sweet girl too. It wasn't fair that some girl could strut in and steal her guy. I wondered if that would happen to Brad and I.

"Love is stupid," Cece suddenly said. "That's why I stay away from it."

"Don't you ever feel lonely?" I asked curiously.

Cece shrugged. "I have you guys."

Thea and I smiled and said simultaneously, "Awwww."

Cece blushed and my smile increased. I honestly loved my friends. They were amazing and were always there for me. Without them I would be a loner who would still be hiding away from the world. Love from a boy was nice, but love from friends was just what you need.