Fat Girl Problems

Fat Girl Problem 7: Food

Sometimes I wondered how god could be so cruel. He created delicious food -that we need to survive - but he also created a way to gain this thing called "fat", that makes us unwanted and unattractive. I wished there was no such thing as fat. I wished we could all just have the same body types so no one stood out. Too bad that wasn't true.

Sighing, I stared at the burger in my hands. It looked so delicious with its juicy burger and heavenly cheese, but it seemed wrong. I learned that things that tasted delicious were usual high in fat. That was why it felt wrong to eat the burger. Even though I was already fat, I still didn't want to gain weight. The more the merrier was not true in this case.

"Not hungry?" Cece asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I shook my head. "Not really."

My mind was finally set. I wouldn't eat this monstrosity of a burger, not when it could contribute to more fat. Cece didn't see please with that though. She was about to say something, but I heard my name being called. I looked to my left and saw Thea walking over to me.

Thea was one of my newer friends. She was a gorgeous black-haired beauty. With eyes as green as grass and a smile that could light up anyone's world. She was every guys dream. From what I knew, she only had eyes for one guy though. Connor that is.

"Hey Quinn!" she exclaimed once she reached us.

"Hey Thea," I replied smiling.

Despite my small feeling that she was using me because of Connor, I actually really liked her. She was full of life and it was contagious. I felt more alive around her.

"Aren't you excited for the Halloween dance!" she squealed.

I blinked. "The Halloween dance?"

Her jaw dropped to the ground, literally. With eyes bulging out she stared at me shocked. I nervously scratched my neck.

"You don't know about the Halloween dance?" she asked, still in shock.

I shook my head. I really didn't.

"Oh my god, you've been missing out on a lot!" she exclaimed. "Tell her Cece!"

I looked over at Cece who looked uninterested. Deep inside I had a feeling she didn't like Thea.

"It's a dance, on Halloween," Cece said simply. "Everyone goes."

"Yeah, everyone," Thea emphasized.

I stared at Thea blankly because I didn't really know how to react. Dances were never fun for me. I never had a date or much friends, so I usually spent my time eating popcorn in a corner. Never a fun thing to do for hours.

Seeing that I wouldn't say anything, Thea said, "Both of you have to go."

"Sure." I shrugged. "Why not?"

Thea grinned and she began giving us the details. Cece zoned out right away, and I eventually did too. I had a feeling the dance wouldn't be for me.

"Today you will be given your projects!" Coach Lynch shouted.

I flinched from the sound of his voice. Even though we sat right in front of him, he thought he needed to deafen us by shouting. It was more scary than annoying surprisingly.

"This project will be done in pairs, boy-girl pairs that is. So go ahead and pick your partners now," he continued.

People groaned around me and I internally groaned. Just my luck, I needed to work with a guy. Sighing, I waited for whoever would be left over. No guy would pick me.

"Quinn, partners."

My eyes shot up from where I sat to see Connor who was glaring at me. He demanded more than asked, so I was now shuddering from his menacing look. I didn't understand this boy. Just a few days ago he grinned at me.

Fearfully, I stuttered, "S-sure."

His features softened to make him look less intimidating and I relaxed. This was the good Connor I actually liked.

Without another word he left. I never understood why he did that. He'd initiate a conversation and then leave without it being much of a conversation. I then suddenly realized something. He asked me to be his partner and I accepted. Oh god. I was going to have to spend more time with him, the scariest person ever.

Shuddering, I watched as Coach Lynch made people sign up their partners. Connor was one of the first people to go, so I watched him sign us up. As he wrote his biceps flexed, his tank top allowing them to be on display. I was oddly intrigued by it.

"I'm so jealous of you."

I looked to my right and saw Thea, who now sat beside me. She was wearing a frown.

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"Connor asked you to be partners."

I couldn't help but notice the hint of jealousy in her voice. I began to hope this wouldn't get in the way of our friendship.

"It's just a project," I insisted.

"Yeah, but you get to spend more time with him."

Her eyes stared off dreamily and I nearly snorted. That was the exact thing I was scared of. Despite his protection, he still scared me.

Curious though, I asked, "You really like him, don't you?"

"Yeah," she replied, sighing heavily. "He's perfection in a man."

I coughed to cover up a laugh. Connor? The guy who terrified ninety-nine percent of the school? Wow, she must really like him to think that.

I opened my mouth to say
something, but then the coach blew his whistle. Once again I flinched. The man had an obsession with loud things. It was annoying.

After everyone was seated on the ground again, he told us the many topics for the project. There were a lot to pick from, which would prove hard to decide. I found myself intrigued by drugs, eating disorders, and sex. They were all things I wasn't an expert on.

Once he was done speaking, he allowed us to speak freely to each other. Thea went to Devon, her partner to talk about the project. That left me alone, but I hoped Connor would come. To my luck, he did.

"Your house, Saturday, one o'clock, got it?" he said.

I stared at him blankly and wondered if it was a joke. He didn't even ask, he just told me all that. It was my house, yet he already decided all that. As I stared at him blankly, I remembered he never joked.

"Sure," I sighed. "What about topics?"

"We'll decide then."

He studied me and I stared back. Something, something about his eyes made them so beautiful, but I didn't understand what. They were just chocolate brown, a common colour. It didn't make sense.

Suddenly, he half-smiled. Obviously, it wasn't as beautiful as his full grin, but it still made my heart skip a beat. That was something my heart never did and I suddenly felt sick.

I watched as his mouth opened, but words never came out. Our fellow classmates began to sing happy birthday and I turned around to see that they were singing to Devon, who was smiling shyly. As they sang, a girl brought a cake that was divided into many pieces to him, and I felt my stomach growl. I forgot I hadn't eaten lunch. I also forgot my rule of never skipping meals.

Watching the girl hand out pieces, I got up and walked over to her. She smiled at me as she handed me a piece. I didn't walk away once I got it though, I just stared at the chocolate masterpiece in my hands. Before I knew it I devoured the large slice of cake in three bites. Even though it was quick, it was so worth it.

I started to leave, but I froze. Everyone, and I mean everyone was eyeing me with disgusted looks. Blush filled my cheeks. I must of scared them - disgusted them with my devour of the cake. I suddenly felt disgusted with myself for eating like that. It wasn't something often I did. Food sucked at times like this.