Never Gone: A Study in Suitors Part Two ⭐

1 - The Decision

The gunshot rang out.

I felt the pain radiating in my side as I sat up in bed grabbing my side as a second shot rang out.

"God damnit..." I said getting out of bed. I flew open the bedroom door to see Sherlock standing with his gun pointed at the smiley face target painted on the wall. "I swear to god Sherlock if you shoot that gun one more time...!" I yelled and he just looked back at me. "Which one of us was shot?! Which one of us almost died?! Which one of us has panic attacks when shots ring out?!" I yelled still grabbing my side.

There was no bandaging, there was no open wound, there was no open gunshot wound. It was all there a year ago when I was shot. A year since Irene Adler, Moriarty, had held me hostage and gave Sherlock the choice, me or her. She shot me, ran out a back entrance but Sherlock ran to me, picking me over her, over catching her.

I felt like recently he was regretting this decision. Sherlock was getting antsy about finding her and no new leads as to where she was.

I stood with my hand on my old wound, my side, my scar hidden under my nightgown as I stood just staring at Sherlock. He groaned and lowered his gun.

"I'm sorry Portia." Sherlock said and I groaned but walked up to him. I cupped his face gently and he just sighed placing his hands over mine.

"Are you ever going to let it go? You picked me Sherlock, you picked love and our future over the chase. Do you regret that decision now?" I asked. Sherlock just closed his eyes and hung his head. He didn't give me an answer, I yanked my hands off his face and out from under his. My eyes filled with tears as I turned to walk away from him.

"Portia..." Sherlock said and came after me.

"No Sherlock! Why did you marry me?! Why pick me?! If she was going to be all you ever thought about, why pick me?!" I screamed at him and he didn't say anything. I then shook my head. "You regret saving me..." I trailed off. Sherlock stood in silence just looked at me and I turned to the bedroom and slammed the door shut. Soon he came in after me.

"I don't regret saving you! You were all I wanted!" Sherlock said and then walked up to me and placed a hand under my chin forcing me to look at him. "And I don't regret that night on London Bridge on my date with you once you felt good enough to get out. The night on London Bridge when the stars and moon shone so bright it lit up your face when I got down on one knee and proposed to you, asking you to be my future. I will never regret marrying you weeks later and making you Misses Sherlock Holmes." Sherlock said and leaned down passionately kissing me.

"Then why can't you forget her Sherlock? There have been no notes, no sighting, no anything. Yet you go out for days on end searching. If she were watching us she could easily kill me while you were gone. She could kill you being out and I won't know for days until you don't come home. Please Sherlock just forget her!" I begged and Sherlock sighed.

"Please understand I want to forget her, I want to move on -..."

"Then let's move on! Let's start a life. We got married and have barely begun to live. Let's start a family..."

"A family...? You want to start a family when she is still out there. Yes, she is missing now but she can come back whenever. You want to bring a family into this?!" Sherlock asked. I shoved him away from me.

"I thought we were moving on?! That's it Sherlock! I can't take it anymore!" I yelled.

"What are you saying?" Sherlock asked.

"What I'm saying is I can't live in this marriage with 3 people! Me, you and Irene!" I said.

Sherlock just stood looking at me.

"I wish you would have let me die and gone after her. At least then you would have gotten what you really wanted." I said. I went to walk away from him and he grabbed my upper arm pulling me flush against him.

"I never said that's what I wanted." Sherlock said.

"But you never denied it either. Holes in the wall, going missing like you do. You wanted the chase not a wife. Did you marry me just because you felt obligated since you saved me? Well did you ever think maybe I didn't want saved?" I said. Sherlock and I just locked eyes. In an instant his lips crashed into mine and even though I tried pushing him off he held me to him, crushing my body against his as we fell on the bed. He was hovering over me when he pulled his lips from mine long enough to pull my nightgown off and I just looked at him as his fingers ran gently over the scar on my side.

"I saved you because you were what is important to me, you always will be. I can't help how I feel about her getting away from me, Portia. I want a life and family with you but I want the threat of her gone. I want to be able to live our lives Irene free." Sherlock said and I sighed.

"I just want a life with you Sherlock. I want to be husband and wife, I want to be able to go out and not have to look over our shoulders. Can't you just relax for one day?" I said and he smirked at me.

"I know how I can relax." Sherlock said and I smiled as I took off his shirt and he working on his pants Once they were unlaced I spread my legs and he nestled between then slowly entering me. I cried out his name as he started to stroke himself inside of me.

"I love you Portia Holmes." Sherlock said and I smiled as I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him down to passionately kissed me. As our lips were barely parted from our kiss I smiled at Sherlock. Every slow stroke he would bottom out in me hitting my g-spot with every thrust in. Sherlock soon started thrusting harder and faster, I knew he was close to his release. I wrapped my legs around his waist and gripped tight arching my back. Sherlock snaked his arms around me and rolled us to where I was on top. I looked down at him and placed my hands on his chest for leverage. He placed his one hand on my hip, his other hand running over my scar. I took a hand and placed it over his and he just looked at me as I felt everything inside of me tightening around him. Soon I was crying out Sherlocks name in my release as he grunted out his own. I collapsed on top of Sherlock as he wrapped his arms around me.

"I love you Sherlock." I said and he kissed the top of my head.

"I never want to hear you say you wish you would have died. I was never going to let that happen Portia. You are my world and have been since the day I met you." Sherlock said. I smiled. I turned my head and kissed up his chest, to his neck and finally to his lips. I just nestled into him and let the feelings of possibly never having a family with this man I loved and married sink in, breaking my heart a little more.