Never Gone: A Study in Suitors Part Two ⭐

20 - Last Chance

I was in the market by myself shopping for some things for the house. Enola was supposed to be with me, but she got a case, the mothers were having tea, Emilia was still with her mother and Sherlock...well...Sherlock said he was helping Enola but I knew Watson had gotten a lead on Irene and he just wasn't telling me. Sherlock had been saying we would do it together, but I knew we didn't mean it.

I was picking up last minute items then was going to head home.

"Well Mrs. Holmes, would you like some help getting all of you packages to your carriage?" I had a vendor ask me. I knew she had a young son she liked to put to work, and he had helped me before.

"It won't be necessary, her husband is finally joining her." Sherlock said coming up behind me. He kissed my cheek and put a bouquet of flowers in front of me and I smiled. He took the packages, and I took the flowers.

"They are lovely Sherlock, thank you." I said as we continued to walk back to the carriage since I was ready to leave.

"Didn't I ask you to not come here without me?" Sherlock asked as we walked, and I groaned.

"Didn't you tell me Irene would be ours to catch together?" I asked.

"I didn't want to get you worked up over a half assed lead in your condition..."

I rolled my eyes and walked a little faster.

"Portia..." Sherlock groaned.

"I'm not pregnant Sherlock." I said turning to look at him and he stopped walking. He looked shocked.

"You're sure?" Sherlock questioned.

"Positive." I said as my eyes started to pool but I quickly turned and kept walking. I heard Sherlock's steps behind me but there was not a pep in his step like that was before. We had been trying and we thought we were finally lucky, things were looking up and positive...until it wasn't.

We got to the carriage, the driver loaded everything, and we got in to head home. We were silent. I was sitting watching the city fade into the country.

I felt his hand snake into mine as our fingers intertwined. I looked over at him in enough time to see bring my hand to his lips and kiss it.

"I'm sorry I didn't include you."

"Just stop lying to me Sherlock. I mean you can't tell me it's both of us then go off on leads for yourself or with Watson no matter what condition you think I might be in." I said and Sherlock sighed.

"I know love, I'm sorry." Sherlock said.

I had to admit, in this marriage I was tired of Sherlock saying he was sorry. I was tired of him constantly undermining me and not including me. I loved my husband, and I didn't see that changing but didn't he even care about how I felt, or did he know saying he was sorry would get him out of trouble?

We arrived home, Sherlock opened the carriage door and helped me out. The driver was loading things into the cottage. I went to walk towards the door and Sherlock stopped me.

"Sherlock?" I asked.

"I won't be staying Portia. I wanted to make sure you made it home, but my bag was already packed. Watson and I -..."

"Sherlock! Did your apology mean nothing?! Was it just so you could go now?!" I asked yanking my hand from his.

"I just want you safe Portia!" Sherlock protested.

"We have proven time and time again that whether I'm with or without you I'm not safe! I was with you when I got poisoned -..."

"Correction, you were poisoned because of me." Sherlock stated.

"We were poisoned! Yet you go and run into danger and leave me here...alone. I'm tired of being alone Sherlock! Since we have been married, we are constantly running in this vicious circle." I said.

"I just want you safe."

"And I just want my husband! You were done, you promised. What if I was expecting Sherlock? What if we were having a baby?! Would you still leave then?!" I asked and Sherlock looked at the ground.

"Of course not, I don't want to leave now -..."

"THEN DONT! It's not that hard Sherlock! I'm tired of begging you to choose me. I'm sick and tired. You choose me, we live our lives then something happens, and you go again. I'm tired Sherlock, so tired." I said. Tears were pooling again as Sherlock looked away from me. I just shook my head.

"I hope while you're gone Irene finds me and kills me. Put me out of my misery. Let her win." I said, before Sherlock could say anything I walked into the house slamming the door shut. I walked to the bedroom and was just pacing.

I thought about leaving again, I thought about being without Sherlock, I was without him now. He finally came around to having a family, having children and yet he was back to his old ways.

I watched the carriage leave down the road from the bedroom window and sighed. I sat on the bed, placing my head in my hands and just started crying.

I then heard his footsteps approaching the room. He stayed...

"You're right. I keep going back on my word and I don't deserve you." Sherlock said. I looked up at him. "I know I keep saying I'm done and it's me and you but -..."

"No buts Sherlock. If you refuse to be done, then it's me and you. Nothing else. Stop going back on that. I'm serious Sherlock, I don't know how much more I can take." I said. Sherlock walked over and crouched in front of me.

"I know, I understand." Sherlock said. I leaned my forehead against his and sighed.

"One more time Sherlock. That's it's it. That's all I can take." I said and he nodded.

"You have given me enough chances, I don't even deserve one more." I pulled my forehead from Sherlock's and just looked at him.

"Maybe not but I love you. God knows you infuriate me to no end sometimes but there is always love buried deep." I said.

"How deep?" Sherlock smirked.

"Wouldn't you like to find out." I said as Sherlock gently whipped away the tears that were staining my cheeks.

"Oh, my love, I think I have my ways." Sherlock growled.

"Why don't you prove that to me then Mister Holmes?" I asked as he leaned in and passionately kissed me as we moved back on the bed.

I knew this was just Sherlock getting out of trouble, usually the only way he knew how, and I knew I was going into him with it. The thing was, I didn't know what the future held for Sherlock and I, so I was willing to take them times whenever I could get them.