Never Gone: A Study in Suitors Part Two ⭐

13 - How Do I Love Thee

I rolled over and noticed I was in bed, still not dressed and still wrapped in the blanket from the fireplace but in bed, Sherlock wasn't next to me either. I sat up staying covered up.

"Sherlock?" I called out.

I heard footsteps approaching the room and my heart relaxed knowing he was on his way back to the room, probably left the room to get a glass of water. The door opened and I was met with the cold eyes of Irene, not my husband like I was hoping.

"I warned you Portia. I told you to stay away from Sherlock or someone was going to get hurt. What is it about you not heeding my warnings?" Irene said.

"Where is Sherlock?" I asked and she cackled.

"Dealt with. I just wanted to have a chat between you and I." Irene said.

"Dealt with? What does that mean?! Where is my husband?!" I asked and went to get out of the bed, but Irene pointed a gun at me. I stopped what I was doing.

"Why can't you just let him go Portia? He doesn't love you, he doesn't want you. Not matter what he says it will always be me for him." Irene said and I just shook my head.

"Irene stop! Just turn yourself in, let him catch you. You let him catch you, you get to see him and then you'll be happy." I said. She cackled and shook her head.

"No, I don't think I will. I will kill you though. Do what I should have done the first time." Irene said and the bang rang out.

"NO!!" I screamed sitting up in bed. Sherlock was up with me looking at me panicked.

"Portia..." Sherlock said and ran a hand over his face trying to wake up. I turned and looked at him as tears filled my eyes. He pulled me into him and just held on to me. I just started sobbing and Sherlock sighed. He kissed the top of my head and just held on to me. He laid back down holding on to me and rocking me back to sleep.

I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep, but I woke up still curled into Sherlock's side. He was awake and running his fingers through my hair and reading a book. I looked up at him and he looked down at me and smiled.

"Good morning." He said and I sat up.

"Good morning." I said and he sighed.

"You want to talk anymore about the nightmare?" Sherlock asked and I shook my head. "You haven't had them for months." Sherlock said and I sighed.

"I know..." I said and he sighed but kissed the side of my head.

"Well if you ever want to talk more about it, like why you screamed out, I'm here. I don't want to force you." Sherlock said.

"I know Sherlock, thank you for being so understand with your insane wife." I said and he shook his head.

"Hey, you're not insane. With everything you have been through, it doesn't surprise me." Sherlock said and I just shook my head.

"How can I expect to want a life and a family but be having nightmares?" I asked and Sherlock shook his head.

"Portia, it was a nightmare, I have them too. Sometimes they just happen." Sherlock admitted and I looked up at him.

"You have nightmares?" I asked.

"Of course, I do. I just never told you because I never wanted to worry you." Sherlock said.

"Please tell me Sherlock. I need to know..." I said and he sighed.

"Well one is when you got shot. It's very different though, in the nightmare, I'm not able to save you. You die in my arms." Sherlock said and held on to me a little tighter.

"But I lived, you kept me alive." I said. He leaned down and gave me a small kiss, but I could see the worry in his eyes.

"What else? There is something else."

"There is another dream and no matter how hard I try I can never finish it to find out." Sherlock said.

"Find out what? Tell me the dream." I said.

"You and Irene are in a standoff on London Bridge, it's nighttime so everything is dark, and I can't see much. The next thing, a gunshot rings out and someone falls to the ground. I just can't find out. I go running but it's like my feet can't move. I don't know who lives and who dies." Sherlock said and I sighed.

"Sherlock, I promise you, I will never go to London Bridge without you. You know how special that bridge is to us anyway so I would never go alone. I mean think about it, it would be weird for me to show up alone. How did she even get me there? Personal invitation? She give me a note or something? No reason to go alone, especially if the invite is from her." I said and Sherlock sighed and nodded.

"So, no spontaneous trips to London Bridge?" Sherlock asked and I gave a small laugh.

"No way, not without you." I said and Sherlock gave me a small kiss again. "So, what are you reading?"

"A book of poetry I bought for you while I was away looking for Irene. I brought it in to read by the fire last night but...you had other ideas..." Sherlock said and we both gave a small laugh.

"You liked the other idea." I said and he nodded.

"I did, you're right. So, when I brought us in here last night, I brought it in the room with me and thought we could lay in bed and just read all day." Sherlock said and I nodded.

"I like that plan." I said.

"I thought you would. I found a poem I want to read to you..." Sherlock said.

"Serenade me oh loving husband." I said in a sarcastic tone and Sherlock laughed as he flipped through the pages of the book. He then stopped and looked at the page.

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the end and
My soul can reach, when out of
For the ends of and Grace.
I love thee to the of day's
Most need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I to lose
With my lost saints, -- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! -- and, if God choose,
I but love thee after death."

"Can we maybe hold off on the death part?" I asked and Sherlock laughed.

"I think we can do that." Sherlock said and he tossed the book on the bedside table and pinned me to the bed as I giggled when he started kissing my neck.