Friends for life?

32. Goodbye

Leah's POV

I'd been on edge all day, so nervous but also excited to finally ask her to be my girlfriend. I'd planned it all out we would go to all her favourite spots in London then I'd take her to Hyde park we'd have a picnic and I'd ask her. We didn't go to London though we stayed at home because Isla was worried my ankle would hurt too much. Of course she was, that's Isla, always thinking of others. She was right my ankle would've hurt but it would've been worth it to see her smile.

Instead we went on a dog walk to the park

As the day went on my nerves grew so I suggested we have some wine with dinner. That led to snuggling on the sofa, I turned so I could face her, my legs resting across hers.  Cmon Leah, I gave myself a pep talk as I noticed tears rolling down her face. What she said next I wasn't prepared for.

As she spoke my heart shattered into a million pieces. I wanted to reassure her, tell her we can keep things as they are but I didn't. I held back everything I wanted to say.

Instead I sat holding her, both of us crying into each other. As she said those words my throat became tight, my mouth was dry and my stomach suddenly felt empty. This is all my fault. She's my best friend, why did I kiss her? I should've kept this to myself but no I had to get drunk and ruin everything.

Of course she didn't want this. She's fucking beautiful, she can have anyone she wants. Why would she want me?

And that was it, one short conversation to break my heart. She said we'd still be best friends so at least I still have my Isla.

"Isla, can we... can we stay like this one last night?"

I text my mum asking her to pick me up in the morning instead. I held my girl closer than ever for the last time as we cried ourselves to sleep.

Mum picked me u at 4 am for my flight. Before leaving I kissed her for the last time as she slept "I'll always love you, even though you've broke my heart"

I thought about leaving Isla a note to wake up to but I decided against that. I'm too emotional right now, let's see what happens over the next few days while I'm away.

The flight was long, 11 hours alone with my own thoughts. I had some privacy as Isla had upgraded me to business class, insisting she had airmiles that were expiring and she wouldn't use them. I'm glad she did as it meant I had my own booth and my chair turned into a bed. I tried to sleep that didn't work. I flicked through a magazine. Scrolled through the films available but couldn't choose one. I settled on one of my many Spotify playlists, 'I Miss You' was the one that suited my mood best.

Why didn't I say anything last night? I didn't ask her how long she'd been feeling like this. I should've told her how much I struggled accepting who I was. Fuck sometimes I still struggle especially with my life being plastered all over social media. Every woman I'm seen with is my 'girlfriend' even my cousin Holly.

Maybe if I told her I loved her things would be different. Maybe she'd have realised that we could get through anything. But then maybe she was avoiding the truth that it's me. Did I push her too far? Did I misread this whole situation?

I'd been on edge all day, so nervous to finally ask her to be my girlfriend. I'd planned it all out we would go to all her favourite spots in London then I'd take her to Hyde park we'd have a picnic and I'd ask her. We didn't go to London though we stayed at home because Isla was worried my ankle would hurt too much. Of course she was, that's Isla, always thinking of others.

I shouldn't have left. That same thought went around my head from the moment I sat in mums car. I kept checking my phone, hoping for a text from Isla...nothing. She was probably still asleep. She slept a lot recently, probably to avoid me now that I'm thinking about it.

8:30am she'd be awake by now. Still nothing, by now I was desperate to hear from her so I sent the first thing I could think of...

"Morning, hope I didn't wake you. Can you check if my cars locked I don't remember locking it 🫣"

Sent.

Seriously Leah. That's the best you can come up with. Of course my cars locked, it locks automatically after 5 minutes when the keys are removed

The typing bubble appeared, then disappeared, appeared then it was gone again. This went on for what felt like forever

"Couldn't find your keys, it's definitely locked"

All that typing and deleting for that. What the hell. I sat my phone face down and closed my eyes. I don't know what I expected. 6 hours left I should get some sleep.

1 unread message
"Slept in again, Jonas is fuming. Fuck.
Armbands yours when your back I'm done"

A/N
Sorry it's a bit shorter than usual, I didn't want to leave you guys too long without an update as I've got a pretty busy rest of the week.