Cursed To Be A Stepdaughter

Chapter 17

Simamkele's pov:

"Yes,23weeks in. Happy 6 months" Dr Nazadar says making me giggle. Lukhanyo holds my hands. He's been really sweet to me but he's just so inconsistent. He's always with Samantha and when I tell him this,he says that she was here first. It feels so wrong that I'm sharing him with someone else. Am I really that desperate for love?

"The gender?" he asks

"Woah now tiger,I'll tell you in a few" the Dr says making me smile

"I'm so excited,my first baby" he says

"It's a healthy baby girl" Lukhanyo fists his hand in the air

"Yesss" he shouts "an excuse to hit younger boys" we all burst out in fist of laughter

"Leave my baby girl alone" I defend her

"Bye guys,I'm really busy" Dr Nazadar says still laughing

"You know you love us Dr and you wish we'd come here everyday" Lukhanyo says getting up and we laugh at him

"You wish" she says back

•••

"Ma it's not that big" I justify. She touches my stomach again. It's popping now but my baby hasn't kicked. Mom wanted to name her Azande but Lukhanyo wanted her to be named after him,Lusanda. So all will be decided once she is born. I'm really showing but it's really not as big as they say it is. My breasts are so damn painful. At least the vomiting stopped

"Ayibo Simamkele,it's as huge as a microwave" she says making me laugh

"Mom you're so dramatic" Sindi says. We're visiting them at the Mthembu residence

"Mila,would you like some juice?" Lukhanyo asks me

"You guys are getting on well" Sindi says wiggling her eyebrows making me laugh

"Mind your own business Sindiswa" Lukhanyo says

"Yes please" he runs off,to the kitchen,I guess.

"He loves you shame" his mother says

"No he doesn't,we're just being mature about this"

"So you mean this whole time you guys haven't...you know?" Sindi opens her eyes wide looking at me. I choke on my spit "I knew it, you guys sle-"

"Hayi wena. What do you know about that?sies man Sindi. I'm raising a pornstar" her mom interrupts

"I go out for one second and you guys start talking about pornstars?sies man" Lukhanyo says putting my juice on the table,just the way I like it,apple juice,sweating glass.

"Thank you" I smile at him. He kisses my cheek

"It's a pleasure" I blush

"Ncoah man,you guys are cute" Sindi says and Lukhanyo rolls his eyes

"We need to bounce,we'll see you guys another time" Lusanda says

"But you guys just got here" mom says. I drink my juice to swallow the tears I'm holding in. She wants us to stay? Something I've gotten from my pregnancy is being over emotional. I hate it,I want to cry about everything

"I promise we'll come see you next weekend" he responds to his mom and after that we bid our goodbyes. We get to his house and find Samantha waiting on the doorstep. He sighs and I rub my arm up and down. She crosses her arms,her perfectly tanned arms. He gets out first and walks towards her,what happened to helping me out?

"So you've been busy with that thing?didn't you tell me you don't want her?huh?or I'm just dumb for believing you?" she shouts at him. A part of it breaks my heart. Is that what he told her? "You said she just annoys you so much" Lukhanyo covers her mouth and walks with her back to the car. I unlocked the door and headed in. I went to the pantry and got myself some marshmallows. I sit infront of the tv and watch a sad movie that I just picked out. These marshmallows are so damn goood. 'My sister's keeper' is the movie I'm watching and it's giving me a good cry. Halfway through,I cry more but not because of the movie but because I'm craving cappuccino with mini marshmallows. I walk to the kitchen. I boil some water in the kettle and take out all the ingredients I'll need. While I wait for the water to boil,a sharp pain crosses through my chest and I hold the area,panting. I don't know if it was real or it was just an illusion but I felt it. I wonder where Lukhanyo is. The kettle clicks dragging me out of my thoughts. I finish making my cup of hot goodness and go back to my movie. What I love about movies,it takes my mind off things. After the movie,tv gets really boring. The door sounds and I switch off the tv. My round belly leading the way to our bedroom. I neatly open the bed and leave to take a shower. I can hear him stumbling. I don't know why,but,I'm alarmed all of a sudden. This was how it was living with an abuser. I finish with my shower and then look at myself in that mirror that is in the bathroom. Pregnancy really doesn't suit me. My skin is glowing and all but I really don't want to be a mom. No damn ways. Why me?didn't Lukhanyo just say I'm a burden? That means this baby is a burden too!

I wear my night gown and head back to our room. I find him fiddling with his belt,trying to take it off. He's definitely had something to drink. "Would you stop staring at me?" he asks. His voice is very soft,almost like he's about to cry. I continue drying my hair with the towel in my hand. He stands up and holds the sides of my body. He brings his face closer to my ear.

"I'm sorry" I could smell the alcohol from a mile away but he still smelt nice.

"For what?" I respond,not looking at him at all

"Samantha doesn't like you and I really can't lose her over you but I like you. Let's keep everything low key and only pretend when we're infront of my family. Okay?" I didn't know what to do or say so I simply nodded. He nibbles on my neck but I want him to stop. Didn't he say he loves Samantha more?

"Aren't we pretending?" I ask him,pushing him slightly

"We're practicing" he kisses me on my lips and I can't resist. I kiss him back and he slides his hand down to pull up my night dress. I'm left with nothing on. He stops kissing me and looks at me up and down,with his bottom lip locked between his teeth. I undo his belt and take off his jeans. He is left in his vest and briefs. He lays me on the bed while taking the rest of his things off. He makes me stroke his big guy and I have a mini flashback. The first time I stroked a dick. Back when I was 12 and drunk

I lay there besides him,with his hand on my stomach. Only the street lights light up the room through the little space in the curtain. We're both still naked and sweaty

"I can't seem to find a job I like. Depending on my parents again is so damn boring. I can't do what I really want to do" I listen to him speak. I could do it all day. I'm so tired though,I just want to close my eyes and sleep

"Simamkele get on your knees and pray" the old woman says. I shake my head

"No!God doesn't love me"

"Confess" he says looking at me. Where is that old woman to help me?Thami is going to kill me. His head is drawn with dried out blood

"Confess" his words get louder and I cover my ears. "Confess" he says and he laughs

"They will disown me Thami"

"You killed me!Confess"

"Okay! I'm sorry Thami! I killed you,leave me alone"

"I killed you Thami,I'm sorry,I'm sorry" I shout. Realization hits me as I open my eyes. I'm not dreaming anymore. I turn my head to see if Lukhanyo is still in bed. There he is,staring back at me with his mouth open in shock

"What?" he whispers. I keep quiet as he probably tries to digest what I just said

"It was just a dream Lukhanyo. A very bad dream"

"You killed my brother?" he says again and this time I could sense anger lingering in his voice. I am in deep shit.