Ashes in the Darkness

The Deer

TW: Main character hunts and kills a deer humanely

The grinding of the chainsaw was completely tuned out at this point, the only thing I was hearing was the sound of my own thoughts screaming at me to find heat. I was freezing, the shed may have been protecting me from the wind, but it was well below zero at this point, and I could feel the sting of it on my fingers as they held onto the metal of the chainsaw. Idling slightly before completely turning off. Throwing my hands into the air with a sigh of frustration, "damn it," I said. I took off my safety goggles and sat back on the workbench.

Kootenai National Forest was known for its remoteness, something that I needed. Something that I craved. I liked knowing that even the largest towns in the area would be small enough to get out of quickly if I needed to. But I still chose the ranger station with the least amount of traffic. The silence was like a soothing cool towel on a fresh burn, turning off the idea that the entire world was out there, and I was here. That was all that I needed.

In the summertime, Kootenai was beautiful with fresh rivers and streams filled with bass and trout that made fishermen flock to the area. The spruce trees grew tall, but the mountains grew ever taller. Grizzly bear cubs wandered around in the wilderness like the rest of the world didn't exist. It was one of the few places on earth that the world still seemed untamed. But the winter was brutal, the snow would fall for days at a time, keeping the sun behind hooded dark clouds for what seemed like years to me. It was cruel, but the few of us that stayed out this far made the most of it. David was the ranger, he stayed in the ranger house not far from the station while the rest of us lived in the town of Libby about 40 minutes away. But on days like this, I would set up my cot inside the office at the station, there was no way I would be able to make it home with the impending blizzard.

The knock on the shed door knocked me out of my general pouty attitude, "yeah?" I said as the door slid open. David walked through the shed door, his large Carhartt jacket making him look like the king of the marshmallow men. "You've been out here too long," he said, closing the shed door harshly.

"I'm gonna get this workin' even if it kills me," I said with my best impression of David's southern accent. He chuckled and looked at his watch a second time after entering the shed.

"Is there any way that I can convince you not to sleep here tonight? The snow isn't that bad right now, you could still make it," David begged, putting his hands on his hips. But he knew better than to start with me, once my mind was made up, there was no changing it.

"I have work to do," I said plainly as I frowned over the broken chainsaw.

"There is no way you're going to get to those polygons after the snow tonight, you should go home and hunker down like the rest of us," he argued, stepping closer. But being stuck inside my little log cabin sounded like a prison sentence, not when there would be perfect hunting up on the mountain after the snow cleared.

"There will be wolves and deer to track after this storm," I said, not looking up at him, but he understood what I was saying. "The plows won't come through until Friday morning, and I won't be driving in this snow tomorrow to get back here."

David sighed and turned back around as I pulled the crank on the chainsaw, which weerrrrred gently before spinning out and dying again, "son of a bitch!" I yelled and tossed the wrench I was holding down on the ground.

"It's too cold," David said, pulling open the shed door again, "come back to the office, work on those coordinates and I'll make us a warm cup of coffee."

Coffee sounded amazing, a habit I had not picked up until I started working for the Forest Service but most animals that I tracked were early risers, therefore I was also an early riser. I didn't mind though; I had been waking up before the sunrise for most of my life.