Through the dark

"I would never hurt you"

we arrived back at Barcelona and the vibe was not very happy of course because they lost

¨you guys did your best. You played very good more you can't do¨ I tried to motivate them

¨we can't do anything about it but you know¨ Pedri says

¨I know¨ I say while I look at them sad

when we arrived at Pedri's home we all went to sleep because it was 2 am

¨goodnight Juul¨ pablo says when I almost fell asleep

¨goodnight golden boy¨ I say with my sleepy voice

the next day we just chilled and watch almost every movie there was

When I was tanning Pablo lays down next to me

¨maybe I do wanna get that operation¨ I say randomly

¨If you want it I could pay¨ Pablo says

¨nah you're not paying if I do it I'm gonna pay myself¨ I say

¨hmmm you're not¨ he says

¨oh yeah I am¨ I say

¨I don't know it's not worth the money but playing soccer without any worrying¨ I say

¨It's really worth that money¨ he says

¨no¨ I say

¨I would pay everything for you even if you find it not worth it¨ he says

¨maybe it's not even effective¨ I say

¨but maybe it is don't think negative¨ he says

¨if you expect disappointed then you can never really get disappointed¨ I say

he looks at me with a sad smile

¨James texted me last night¨ I say random

¨He can't let you go¨ he says while rolling his eyes

¨but I get him I also couldn't let you go¨ he says

¨I think he goes through a hard time¨ I say

¨stop defending him. He raped you¨ Pablo says raising his voice a bit

a shiver went through my whole body when he said that. He is right he did but you know it just can't accept it

I didn't say anything and just look away because I was holding my tears back

¨sorry I shouldn't-¨ he tries to say but I say immediately ¨it's not your fault¨

¨You're right he did but still can't process it and I left it behind me¨ I say

¨It's good you left it behind but we can't do like it didn't happen¨ he says

¨I can't really talk about it¨ I say while my voice cracks

¨he Juul it's okay I'm here. I would never hurt you¨ he says

¨I know¨ I say

¨it's almost christmas¨ I say random

¨yeah what are you gonna do on christmas?¨ he asks

¨I think Pedri wants to go to our family for family dinner so I have to go with him¨ I say

¨you don't want to?¨ he asks

¨long story what are you gonna do?¨ I ask

¨also Family I think but on second Christmas day¨ he says

¨You can come with me to our family dinner¨ I suggest

¨you want that?¨ he asks surprised

¨of course I want that I know my parents are gonna like you¨ I say