Through the dark

looking for you

It's now a month later and I never talked to Pablo again, I never went to any training or match, I just avoided him.

It's still hard like he meant everything to me. but apparently I wasn't that special to him.

He never came into this house and if Pedri was hanging out with him it was by him.

I am happy that I didn't ruin their friendship.

¨ Are you gonna do anything special today?¨ I ask Pedri when he is eating breakfast

¨Nothing really special, just training and maybe hanging out with Pablo after that¨ He says

¨alright¨ I nod

¨ Do you wanna come with me to training?¨ Pedri asks

¨uhm sure why not, It's a long time ago¨ I say

¨alright we will leave at 2pm¨ he says

¨sure¨ I say

I went back upstairs and changed my clothes into something good. I did my make-up and straightened my hair. I have to look good today for Pablo duh

I wear a off-shoulder sweater and straight leg jeans.

¨I'm ready to go¨ I say while I walk downstairs

¨me too, I have some food packed for you because you haven't eat anything¨ He says and I nod

¨You know we still have to pick Pablo up before we go to camp nou¨ Pedri says

¨yeah I know, does he know I'm coming?¨ I ask

¨yes I texted him¨ Pedri says and I nod

We drive to Pablo's house and pick him up

The first 5 minutes were really awkward but after that it was better

¨So long time ago since you watched your brothers training¨ Pablo says

¨Yeah I had other thing to do¨ I say

¨I'm happy you came today¨ Pablo says

why would he say that?

¨me too¨ I say

When we arrived at camp nou, Pedri and Pablo went changing their clothes and I just sat at the dug-out

I watched them train and I caught myself looking every time at Pablo

Even now, when we're already over. I can't help myself from looking for you.

¨If you guys wanted to chill at our house I don't have a problem with it¨ I say when we're on our way back

¨If you are okay with it¨ Pablo says and Pedri nods

We arrived home and I went to the kitchen to make some fruit salad.

When I went into the living room I saw Pedri and Pablo watching some tv

¨So what are we watching?¨ I say while I jumped in the middle of them

¨Just some random football what we could find on tv¨ Pedri says

I nod and take a bite from my fruit salad

¨Tomorrow we have a game again¨ Pablo says

¨maybe I'll come and watch¨ I say and Pablo smiles

¨I will go shower¨ Pedri says while getting up

so it was just me and Pablo then.

¨You didn't come to watch the training and matches because of me?¨ Pablo asks

¨yeah¨ I say while I avoid eye contact

¨I think we need to talk¨

¨you're right¨

¨Pedri will probably take long¨

¨He always showers like a hours or something¨

¨So uhm yeah how are you?¨ He asks

¨I'm fine you?¨ I ask

¨Yeah I'm good now but still¨ He says

¨James his mom died that's why he called that day¨ I say to skip this awkward conversation

¨Oh shit. Were you close to her?¨ He asks

¨Yeah I think so. she felt like my own mom when mine was too busy. She always come to my matches and supported me through everything¨ I say

¨Oh juul¨ He says while giving me a hug because I got tears in my eyes

¨I'm so sorry for your lost¨ he says while watching me deep in my eyes

¨I don't know what was wrong with me that day I was just so jealous about that you had still contact with James and after everything he did to you I couldn't handle it anymore¨ Pablo says

¨But you didn't know everything about it. I get it. I think we made a good choice¨ I say

¨Yeah but I should have asked but I was just so jealous and I got so mad¨ He says

¨Maybe we were just not meant to be¨ I say

¨Maybe we were and we just need to give it time¨ He says simply

So he is saying he wants to try again? I have a huge error he is the one who was done with it?

I say nothing and just look at him while he says ¨Give yourself time. Whatever that means to you right now¨

¨I will¨ I say with a little blush

¨good¨ Pablo says

¨You need to give yourself time too, you look very tired¨ I say

¨I am¨ he says

¨don't stay to long at get some sleep for tomorrow¨ I say

¨I will¨ he says