The Night You Left Me | Taegi (Sequel) ✔️

Twenty

It happens again.

Yoongi isn't sure whether he should be relieved, scared, happy, terrified, or what, but it happens again and he isn't sure how to feel about the reoccurring random flashbacks— granted he's only had two so far.

This time it happens with Taehyung, at least.

Taehyung doesn't do anything to trigger this flashback. It just happens when Yoongi goes home and has time to think about the fact that they nearly kissed today. The more he thinks about kissing Taehyung, the more specific the scene in his head gets and the more sharp pains shoot through his head as well— just like the first flashback.

In his head, he's kissing Taehyung on the front porch of his house. It's a faded scene, one that hardly makes it through to him because he keeps thinking back and forth between the porch kiss to the near-kiss he just had in Taehyung's bedroom and they're both full of tension that drives him insane.

When he gets home, he takes a nice long cold shower and forgets all about it in attempt to brush it off and not cause a headache, but he still thinks about it from time to time and even writes poems about how Taehyung's lips taste even though he has no idea— yet somehow his brain fills in the blanks for him.

It's like he knows. He doesn't. He really doesn't. So how come it's so easy to write about it like he does?

———

For many reasons, he decides to not tell anyone about these flashbacks he's having. He's only had two so far and he still isn't certain if they're flashbacks or some sort of wishful thinking; he wants to be sure of himself before he goes and gets his friends' hopes up.

So, he keeps it to himself.

And for a while, he thinks that maybe he was just making things up. He goes to hang out with each and every person he knows— even Taehyung's friends and his own family— but when he tries to remember something or anything at all, it doesn't work. He gets nothing.

But it sounds crazy, right? He doesn't want to push those two previous flashbacks aside because he's almost certain that they were real— his head even hurt because of them! He just hoped it would happen again, but it won't, and that's exactly why he chooses not to tell his friends. What if that was the only time he'll ever remember anything? He doesn't want them to impatiently wait just like he's doing; he'll save them the trouble.

———

But he impatiently waits for weeks.

Nothing happens.

He sort of mopes around for a while because of it. He truly thought that maybe he was slowly gaining his memory back, but no, he wasn't, and that's so fucking disappointing.

What's even more disappointing is that he feels like he's letting Taehyung down. He thinks about how happy Taehyung would be to learn that Yoongi's getting his memory back— but he isn't. He can't. It won't happen again no matter how hard he tries.

"I can feel you thinking from here."

It's Namjoon's voice. They're at a ramen bar that has a lounging area, both of them reading books with Namjoon on the sofa and Yoongi on the little cushioned chair next to the bookshelf. Yoongi frowns up at him.

"Aren't you supposed to be reading?" he asks. Namjoon smiles with his deep dimples on display.

"You haven't changed at all," he tells Yoongi. "Still. Aren't you supposed to be reading as well? I can't focus when you're staring at me like that."

Yoongi was staring hard at his friend, trying to remember something about him. It wasn't working. Now Namjoon notices.

"Sorry. I'm just trying to remember things," he admits, but doesn't tell the full extent to it. Namjoon now frowns. "I know, I know, you guys tell me not to worry so much about remembering things, but I can't help it. I might as well try, right?"

Namjoon sighs, then leans forward to place his book face down on the coffee table separating them. He looks at Yoongi with a deep, meaningful gaze. "We just don't want you to force anything or be upset if it doesn't turn out well. Taehyung is worried that you'll be disappointed." Yoongi feels light at the mention of Taehyung, but also heavy once Namjoon's words register; Taehyung is worried. "For the record, we're just glad you're 'alive' and well, Yoongi. Anything beats not having you at all."

Yoongi frowns. "What's so good about me being here if I can't even be the same person you all know and love?" he asks before really thinking. Namjoon also frowns, much deeper.

"We still love you, Yoongi."

"You love the me you knew before."

Namjoon scoffs, dry. "You're still the same person, Yoongi. Still as stubborn as ever, at least." At this, Yoongi scrunches his nose.

"I wouldn't be so stubborn if this damn memory loss shit wasn't so stubborn."

He gets a deadpan in return. "You're always stubborn," Namjoon then chuckles. "Besides, you're the one who told me that you wanted to be one of us to be with your friends for a long time. I know you don't remember saying that, but you did. And you got that. So don't sit here and tell me you're better off being dead, Min Yoongi. Don't ever think like that."

Silence falls between them and Yoongi can't help but feel bad. He knows what trouble it was to bring him back and he knows that his friends love him, so he's selfish for even thinking he'd be better off gone for their sake— maybe even his own.

"You can't give up that easily," Namjoon breaks the silence. "A little memory loss is nothing on you. You have endless years to spend with us now. Don't dwell on the past when you have the present and future to look forward to."

Yoongi sighs.

"Okay."

He would say so much more like you're right or thank you, but his mind is full of possibilities and regrets, so he keeps quiet as his thoughts remains loud.

~~~

lets gooo present & futureeeee

😶 hehe

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