choni one-shots || Choni Stories

the kiss you gave me when i felt like dying

this chapter is really sad.
(double post day whoop whoop)

⚠️⚠️

includes
-panic attack
-self harm
-suicidal thoughts
-homophobia (slurs)

please don't read if you are triggered by any of those topics. ❤️‍🩹

love y'all

—xoxo—

cheryl was chipping away, piece by piece.

her body could barely take it anymore, the internal pain being almost unbearable.

the abuse she suffered at the hands of her mother, the homophobic remarks, the words of pure hatred from so many people around her.

it was just too much.

all cheryl wanted was to be just engulfed in pure darkness, knowing most people would shout and cheer if she had just, died.

she counts the amount that cares over who wouldn't, her mind telling her that not a single person would care.

of course she had her girlfriend, but honestly, with how broken she is, she truly believes she would be thrilled to no longer have to deal with her.

she hated herself, more then anything.

her rough exterior that took all the hatred disappeared once she enters her room for the night, shoving her girlfriends t-shirt into her mouth to keep the sounds of her sobs quiet, keeping them from being heard by her terrible mother.

she was numb.

would anyone even notice if she were gone? would they laugh at her expense?

—
cheryl trudges through the hallway, almost lifelessly inside, but put together on the outside, making everyone believe she was perfectly fine and could take anything.

but her body was at its tipping point, her eyes voided of any emotion, not like anyone would care nor notice.

everyone thought she was better from her brothers death.

better, she though, That was like saying, 'hey, I've been stabbed in the heart but at least the knife isn't in there anymore' whilst slowly bleeding to death.

she notices her girlfriend, smiling at her, standing next to her locker.

she walks up to her, her body barely being able to move her legs. she had been up all night crying.

"hey, babe. you still up for later?" asks toni, looking at her girlfriend lovingly, noticing cheryl avoiding her eyes.

"oh, uh, yes, of course." cheryl states, the exhaustion making small sentences feel large and difficult to say.

she still hadn't looked at toni.

"babe? are you alright?" toni says, placing her hand gently on cheryl's cheek to move her girlfriends head to face her.

she sees nothing.

there's nothing behind her eyes.

or that oh so fake smile on her perfectly painted lips.

"i'm perfectly fine. i'll see you, uh, later? at 7:00?" cheryl says, the fake smile glued onto her face.

her emotional armour, the mask she placed on everyday.

"of course. but, are you sure your alright cher? you just don't seem like yourself."

"i'm fine toni. don't worry about me. there's nothing to worry about."