Disease (Ponyboy Curtis)

-4-

Delilah's POV

Me and Pony went to get some paint for my room so i could start decorating. We were walking down the sidewalk with buckets of white paint in our hands laughing at silly jokes. I haven't had a lot of bad thoughts lately. Maybe Pony changed my mind. Fixed me.

Ha, fix you? I wish. Maybe a plastic surgeon could do that. Wait? Never mind, he make miracles

I frowned and looked down. I would jinx myself. I looked up and noticed Pony stopped "What?" i said softly "What did they say" he said sternly. I sighed and shook my head "I can't be fixed.." i said. It wasn't a lie, i just didn't want to tell him all of it. He shouldn't worry about me. I'm not important. That's what my mind taught me. That i'm not important. Maybe that's why i hide. Maybe that's why i hate me.

"Don't listen to those thoughts, i will fix you i promise" he said and kissed my nose.

'Don't make promises you can't keep' i thought

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We walked back to the house quickly so we could start painting. He kicked the door open after turning the nob with three fingers "I'm home losers!" i yelled and i heard fits of laughter from the kitchen "We're gonna start painting" Pony exclaimed and we ran into my room. Darry had already put plastic on the furniture since he knew we were gonna be messy. Pony pried open the cans and i watched him with a paint brush in my hands. I wore more messy clothes and a baseball cap backwards

I was wearing a white tee-shirt and overalls. Plus my dads old yankee cap but i put it on backwards. We picked up our paintbrushes and started painting "Hey, Delilah" Pony said. I turned to face him and he bopped my nose with his paintbrush. That led into a paint war and left a mess. I leaned against the dresser with Pony's arms on the other sides of me. I grabbed his face and giggled. He kissed me on the lips and i kissed back. My first kiss.

I felt my heart fly. I pulled back and he started kissing my face and i laughed and tried to pull away "I like you a lot, Miss Even" he whispered and i bit my lip "As to you Mr Odd" he bowed his head and laughed.

Haha, this is pathetic. He'g good at faking he hates you. You're sad.

I hugged Pony quickly and tightly. My mind is breaking me again. I felt tears brew in my eyes but i didn't blink. Don't blink.

The bad memories flooded threw my mind of the scratching and burning eyes. I shook my head and Pony looked at me "Cheer up okay, don't listen. Come on let's finish this" he said kissing my nose and walking back to painting the wall.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I had paint on my cheek and forehead. I looked down and chuckled. When i looked back up in the mirror i frowned.

He probably covered you face with paint so he doesn't have to look at your hideous face

I looked down and went back to painting.

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We finished painting eventually and we were exhausted. I was sweating bullets and we were laying on a plastic covered bed and drank lemonade Darry made "That took so long." i groaned and he laughed "Yea" Pony laughed and i looked at him and smiled. He is my savor.

Savor, ha. This is funny. Please just kill yourself. Do everyone a favor

"I need to change" i said

He nodded and walked out the door.

I grabbed my head and rocked back and forth "One...Two...Three" i counted. Don't blink.

"Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen" i counted faster but it didn't work. I blinked. I ripped off my clothes and dug my nails into my skin. I felt the back of my neck and could feel the red water pouring out of my skin. I winced as tears feel down my cheeks. I must've ripped one of my stitches. I grabbed my hand and rocked back and forth.

"Hey, Dinners ready Delilah" i heard Soda say. I didn't move "O-okay, be out in a minute" i said back. I heard the door creak open and a gasp. I looked up and he shut the door and rushed over to me "Soda please-" he grabbed a towel out of the closet "Soda i'm okay please don't-" he wouldn't listen to me.

"Stop De" he said wrapping the towel around me. He wiped the tears from my cheeks and pulled me into a hug "P-please don't tell Pony" i cried and he nodded "I won't but you need to stop this okay?" he said and i nodded quickly "You tore some stitches" he said touching my neck. I winced "Sorry" he muttered. He went to get a first aid kit while i put on my clothes. I put on some comfy clothes and he came back in with a first aid kit... and Darry. And Pony. I shot a glare at Soda "You said you wouldn't tell" i said threw gritted teeth. He scratched the back of his neck and Darry was pacing in front of me while Pony held me "You got to cut this out Delilah" he snapped. I jumped a bit and Pony held me tighter to reassure me i was okay.

I looked down at my hands that had blood splotches on them "I understand you have this brain issues but this is controllable you know" he yelled. I winced and Pony stood up "Lay off Darry.." he said glaring. While they were glaring Soda waved me over so her can fix my stitches "I didn't mean to Darry please don't be-" i was cut off by him picking up my collar and throwing me down into the bed. I screamed in pain and scrambled up. Darry tried to stop me but Pony jumped on him and was hitting him. I ran out of the house as everyone called out to me. I ran as fast as i could as i felt rain drops trickle on my head.

I reached the lot and looked up at the sky. It was raining by now.

Stupid

No... I'm not, stop harassing me

Darry hit you. Finally.

He didn't mean it, he didn't mean to

Ha, i doubt it. Everyone loves to see you hurt. And see you broken.

I grabbed my head and rocked back and forth in the rain. I can't believe this. My mind is right. People love to see me hurt. How would they feel if i was dead. I screamed. No i'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna kill myself.

"Just leave me alone! I hate you! I hate myself! Leave me alone" I cried. I saw someone running towards me. But i didn't get to see who. Cause it went black