Find Me ~ Lando Norris

XXXVI

WARNING: this chapter contains sensitive words, if you don't agree with this please wait for the next chapter (there is also a little bit of smut)

"You lied to me saying you had work to do but you were having fun on Charles' yacht" Lando complained.

"I lied because I overheard you talking to your mother about me" I confessed "She talked shit about me and you agreed with her" my voice cracked on every word.

"Lea I..." he tried to say but he couldn't. Of course he couldn't.

"Then I come to our home to remind me of our beautiful moments and then I read on the internet about our crisis because I came back alone" I cried.

"Baby, I'm sorry" he took a step forward but I stepped back.

"Then I went to have fun on Charles' yacht. It was so much fun I ended up in the sea because your damn ex can't get over you and I wonder why" I looked straight into his eyes so I wouldn't miss a beat.

"Why would she do that?" he questioned.

"I don't know Lando!" I shouted totally frustrated.

"Alright, calm down" he snapped.

"I'm not going to calm down because it's not fair" I wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Please don't cry" he took my hand but I let go.

"I'm going to get some fresh air" I slammed the door behind me.

I walked along the sand to the seashore and sat hugging my legs and dunking my head, I couldn't stop the tears that came naturally, not even waiting for a reason to do so. A long time ago I didn't question myself if the decision I had made was the right one because I always believed it was the right one after everything I had been through but now I'm not sure about that and what will happen.

After a few minutes Lando sat down next to me, both of us looking at the landscape in front of us in silence just keeping us company.

"My parents died when I was 15. My father died in an accident in his car and my mother couldn't take it and got sick, two months later she died in my house" my gaze was fixed on the sea watching the waves "Since then I lived with my grandma, the relationship wasn't the best, she never loved me I don't know why. When I was 18 I started college and the following year I moved to Florida" my throat became a knot when I named that city. I looked Lando in the eyes who was attentive to every word that came out of my mouth "That was the worst mistake of my life" the tears in my eyes came again.

"You can trust me" he said as he stroked my hand. For the first time I felt I could talk about this without fear of being judged or rejected. I took a long breath and continued my monologue.

"I started working in a bar at night, I didn't have enough money to pay for the flat I was renting with some girls from the university. A friend of those girls told me that they were looking for a waitress in that bar and as I needed the job I didn't hesitate to take it. Everything was going well, I was happy because the tips were good, but some nights people drank a lot of alcohol and got into fights" I explained, I could feel a shiver on my back, Lando just looked at me "After a year working there I formed a trusting relationship with the owner of the bar and he would give me the keys so I could close the bar because sometimes I would stay late to work overtime and get better pay. One day a man came into the bar when I had finished my shift and had to close" I paused briefly to remember "He got very angry and refused to leave, I politely asked him to leave but he kept shouting and coming towards me. I grabbed a bottle of champagne that was under the bar where I was standing in case I needed something to defend myself. The man crossed the room kicking chairs and knocking over tables on his way and reached me, grabbed the bottle from my hand and threw it on the floor shattering the glass into a thousand pieces. Before I could react he grabbed me by the shoulders and started insulting me, I was begging him to please let me go, take whatever he wants but leave me alone" I started crying again recreating the scene in my head. "He didn't listen to any of my pleas and started touching my legs, my back, I tried with all my strength to let go but the man was stronger than me. Then he punched me in the face and I fell to the ground, the glass from the bottle cut my arms, my hands and my feet when I tried to stand up" Lando gave a quick look at my body "But I failed when he kicked me in my legs, that fucker was going to kill me. Then he took some wires and tied my hands and feet and took off my clothes, all I did was cry and scream, I screamed at the top of my lungs but no one heard me. My lips were bleeding, my whole body was hurt, my veins were going to explode from the force I was using to try to escape. The man hit me again and again on every part of my body when I moved trying to save my life. After that, he had fun using my body as if it was his toy, my arms and legs were shaking from the pain. He took a handkerchief and put it in my mouth to try to silence my screams, then he raped me and all I could do was scream until I accepted my fate. I gave up, I stopped my cries for help, my throat burned, I couldn't feel my eyes or my lips, I had never in my life wished to die but at that moment dying was the only thing I wanted. After an hour of torture the man took the handkerchief from my mouth and left me lying there. I screamed at him to kill me and end my suffering once and for all but he left. I stayed all night in the same position until I could see the sunlight coming through the window, I took some of the glass and cut the wires from my hand and then the wires from my feet, I crawled to the back of the bar, went into the bathroom and cleaned my body. When I finished, I changed my clothes and walked to my flat, people on the street looked at me but no one helped me. I arrived and threw myself on the bed and I don't remember exactly how many months I was locked in that room. When I was strong enough to get up, I decided that I would start my life again. Of course I had relapses, I took drugs, it was very difficult to get a job, I couldn't eat, I couldn't study. When I was ready I went to the police to report the bastard but nobody believed me because my skin wounds were not so visible, nobody helped me. I thought I could never get over this, it was something that consumed my life day by day".