IM BACK BITCHESSS i wont be updating as much as I used to because im still trying to grieve and process but im backkkkk
TW slight mention of throwing up and loss⚠️
Y/n's pov
I was sitting in me and Ellie's living room in out two story white farm house, my favorite place in the whole wide decrepit world.
"Hey babe" El says walking through the screen door, "hey, where'd you wander off to?" "Jackson, had to pick some shit up" I nod, standing up walking over to her. She drops the basket on the coffee table behind me "Whatd you do when I was gone" "well judging from the book in my hand, what do you think?" "Yeah that's fair"
I giggle and look in the basket as she walks upstairs "hey honey? Why'd you get tomatoes?" I yelled upstairs "cause I thought you like them, do you not?" "No but I'm not picky, I can make something"
-time skip because ya bitch is lazay-
I was cooking tomato soup while Els runs around messing with JJ in the backyard, Dina and Jesse are over (pretend Jesse's still alive) "how has everything been in Jackson?" I ask Dina who is sitting on the counter next to me "meh, been better since, you know" I assumed she was talking about Joel, "yeah, I can see why" I say, suddenly feeling anxious and sad.
My head clouds over with memories of that day, my palms start to sweat and suddenly I feel like vomiting everywhere. My hands start to shake with the wooden spoon in my hand that I was stirring with. "Y/n? You ok?" "I..I d-don't know" I say, pausing and stuttering. "Hey, hey it's ok, breath hun breath" Dina says hopping off of the counter and taking the spoon out of my hands "Jesse! Go get El from the back!" Dina yelled at Jesse across the house, as I slide down the cabinets "Got it!"
"Y/n come on you gotta look at me" "I-I.. can't fucking...breath" I said between gasps "yes you can honey it's ok"
Ellie comes running through the back door with Jesse holding JJ behind her. "Holy shit what happened" "I-I don't know I just told her how Jackson was doing without you guys and...Joel" Dina said as she finally realized why is was upset.
"Shit shit shit, y/n babe come in look at me"
FLASH BACK
"PLEASE NO HE'S EVERYTHING I HAVE"
WHAM
Abby hits Joel again while the golf club,
I squirm against the man holding me down, "STOP, PLEASE TAKE ME" I screamed,as if it was going to stop her
"I love you kiddo"
I screamed louder than I ever have, out of anger,sadness, fear. He's gone, and I couldn't do shit about it.
END OF FLASH BACK
"Y/n! Come on, you're not there anymore come back to me!" Ellie yelled. My eyes were shut closed, tighter than ever. He's fucking gone.
My eyes burst open with tears, I latch on to Ellie like she was going with him "I'm here, I'm here" she said
"I'm so sorry" I said hiccuping through my words. "What for, you did nothing wrong you can't control these episodes y/n, don't apologize" I was clinging onto Ellie who was kneeled next to me for the next five minutes like she was going to float away.
-another time skip🕳️👩🦯-
Ellie insisted on me laying down and relaxing. Dina and Jesse left around an hour ago,they decided to give us some space and time together, "I'm exhausted" was all I could say to Ellie "I know my love" was all she could say back.
It's 6:30pm now and Ellie finished the dinner I was trying to make earlier and it actually turned out pretty good,since Ellie wasn't the greatest cook I was surprised.
After we ate I went back upstairs to our shared bedroom and dragged myself back into bed, enveloped in our covers.
I woke up around 8:30 to Ellie crawling into bed next to me and wrapping her arms around my waist. "Hey." I said in a whisper so quiet it could be passed at wind blowing through our open windows. "Hi" Ellie said in the same tone "you tired?" I asked, already knowing the answer "you know it" she said burying herself into the back of my neck.
Minutes went by of straight silence, comforting silence, it was nice to just be in each others presence. "I'm so sorry Els" I croaked "I know honey"
THIS IS SO RUSHED BUT
ALL THE ANGST IN THIS BITCH anyways I'm sorry I haven't posted in like ever I'm just really busy with myself and other things<3 love ya
